Michael is much more of an involved and competent father than you seem to be assuming that he is - none of this is about not trusting him with the baby, or him not being willing to stay with her if I want to go out.
Honestly I can't think of anything that I would want to go out and do. And I can't think of when there would be time. One night a week Michael has gaming, and one night a week Bill comes over to spend the evening. Errands, plus trying to spend time with Michael, eat up the weekends. And on weeknights Michael doesn't come home until almost 7, and by the time we've gotten the baby to bed and had dinner it's usually after 9, which is late to go out if the odds are that you'll be up at 5am the next morning.
But mostly I just can't think of what I would use a Mom's Night Out for.
I wasn't assuming anything, and certainly nothing about his competence :( I was just trying to get at why you treated the idea of having a weekly night out with "Hahahahahahaha. No." So I wondered if, either consciously or unconsciously, you felt that you (as in rivka) personally had to be with Alex all the time, or Something Bad Would Happen. In some other comments you were giving the impression that you are the primary caregiver for Alex all or most of the time, and that maybe when Michael is looking after her you feel that you still need to be nearby/on call. Obviously, that isn't the case, and I apologise for anything I said that sounded like an insult.
As for what you'd use the time for, I thought the whole thing that sparked this off was your family getting sick and you having to cancel the first night out with Bill that you'd had in over a year. I just thought that while it's particularly unfortunate timing, it would have been less upsetting if you'd been able to go out a bit more often.
I can't really say why I do for a Mom's Night Out, since, well, I'm not one. But: a ZJ's Night Out tends to consist of me going someplace -- any place -- other than the house, often with a book and a cup of tea. Yes, you can do that at home too. For some reason, sometimes I like to go someplace *else* and be by myself and read. I've gone to all night diners for a few hours, I've gone to book stores, I've gone to the park or down by the river. I couple hours out not thinking about anything else tends to help me get a new perspective on life and such.
I would imagine a Mom's Night Out or even just a Rivka's Night Out could consist of the same -- from what I read here, I would think tea and a book would be right up your alley?
You're right, after 9 is late to go out with the schedule you've described. Is there any way you could fit in a bit of Rivka time on your way home from work? My mom tends to get up at very early hours to get and hour to two by herself here in the morning. How she does it I have NO IDEA. But she does, and she drinks her coffee and reads news online and that's how she starts her day and it works for her.
Maybe not even every week, but once or twice a month, or as needed? I don't know if it'll work for you -- I just know it tends to give me a boost when I need it.
Why, dates with Bill, of course! You could easily get back to once a week if you had a Mom's Night Out. Or you could opt for every other week and spend the off-week getting together with local friends, or going to a movie, or even chatting with me. Come on, wouldn't that be lovely?
i have to say that IM dates and phone dates leapt to mind. you sometimes seem starved for not-baby conversation that includes the option of returning to baby--so not anti-baby conversation?
i do wish i was closer so i could offer you a night out with michael--leave the baby with me, sort of deal--do the two of you get no baby time?
*many hugs, even though i know this is all old news*
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Honestly I can't think of anything that I would want to go out and do. And I can't think of when there would be time. One night a week Michael has gaming, and one night a week Bill comes over to spend the evening. Errands, plus trying to spend time with Michael, eat up the weekends. And on weeknights Michael doesn't come home until almost 7, and by the time we've gotten the baby to bed and had dinner it's usually after 9, which is late to go out if the odds are that you'll be up at 5am the next morning.
But mostly I just can't think of what I would use a Mom's Night Out for.
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As for what you'd use the time for, I thought the whole thing that sparked this off was your family getting sick and you having to cancel the first night out with Bill that you'd had in over a year. I just thought that while it's particularly unfortunate timing, it would have been less upsetting if you'd been able to go out a bit more often.
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I would imagine a Mom's Night Out or even just a Rivka's Night Out could consist of the same -- from what I read here, I would think tea and a book would be right up your alley?
You're right, after 9 is late to go out with the schedule you've described. Is there any way you could fit in a bit of Rivka time on your way home from work? My mom tends to get up at very early hours to get and hour to two by herself here in the morning. How she does it I have NO IDEA. But she does, and she drinks her coffee and reads news online and that's how she starts her day and it works for her.
Maybe not even every week, but once or twice a month, or as needed? I don't know if it'll work for you -- I just know it tends to give me a boost when I need it.
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-J
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i do wish i was closer so i could offer you a night out with michael--leave the baby with me, sort of deal--do the two of you get no baby time?
*many hugs, even though i know this is all old news*