Memity meme meme meme

[rivka]

Man, my journal has really been all-Alex, all-the-time lately. I apologize to those of you who couldn't care less about OMG TEH CUTE BABY!!!11!one!.

Here's the deal: there are a few things that are completely obsessing and preoccupying me these days, and I feel comfortable discussing none of them on my LJ, for reasons varying from explicit legal advice to creeping paranoia. And, well, because they're completely obsessing me, not a lot of other subjects spring to mind. Except Alex, who is always safe and innocuous to discuss.

So, perhaps a meme, for variation and/or conversation starting. Via just about everyone:

How many times has someone on your friends list posted about something and you were really confused, but you didn't want to ask because you knew you SHOULD know? How many times have you felt guilty asking a close LJ friend a question that should be obvious?

Well, here's your chance.

If you've missed a few things, missed an entry and are confused, ask me any thing. Even something EXTREMELY basic, like where I live! I'm not allowed to get even slightly irritated at any of the questions - we've all missed things before.

This would also be a fine place to ask questions about things that I haven't referenced in a post, with the understanding that if it references one of the Forbidden Subjects I will probably hedge.

Comments

[selki.livejournal.com]

Just wondering if you knew that Purple Orchid closed. Sob! I only got to eat there once, but it was great, and I'm glad you recommended it.

I'm hoping to eat at Mandalay in May.

[therealjae.livejournal.com]

Oh no! OH NO! *sob*

-J

[rivka.livejournal.com]

Don't cry, J! "Cream of crab soup, very easy," (http://rivka.livejournal.com/74548.html) remember? We'll make it again!

[rivka.livejournal.com]

Ack! I didn't know. That makes me sad. There are a lot of good seafood restaurants in Baltimore, but (a) none of the others make cream of crab soup in precisely the right way, and (b) none of them have quite the same touch of artistry with the plate.

Now I will have to make the soup (http://rivka.livejournal.com/74548.html) again.

[roozle.livejournal.com]

Will you be at WorldCon? I'm not going to be at Balticon unfortunately.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

No, we'll be skipping Worldcon. Too much money, too much time on an airplane with a toddler.

Not planning on Balticon, either - in fact, we've never been. But we'd be happy to meet up with Balticon attendees while they're in town!

[txanne.livejournal.com]

I haven't gotten around to sending money for one of the Forbidden Subjects. Do you still need it?

[rivka.livejournal.com]

At the moment, expenses are more than covered. I am waiting to see if I incur any further expenses, which could still happen, but I'd say that right now you should hold onto it for your trip to France.

Thank you.

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

That sounds like good nows.

B

[edschweppe.livejournal.com]

Assuming that this isn't one of the Forbidden Subjects: do you see yourself updating Respectful of Otters (http://respectfulofotters.blogspot.com/) any time soon?

[rivka.livejournal.com]

I know this is an unsatisfying answer, but: I don't know. I have been surprised by how daunting the idea of getting back into blogging is. Theoretically, I should be able to do it again now that I am reliably getting normal quantities of sleep. In reality, I'm out of practice with blogging and out of touch with blogs in general.

It does continue to feel like a huge loss in my life. I want to get back into it. I just don't think that I can say when.

[nancylebov.livejournal.com]

I've found that when I haven't been writing online for a while, the first piece or two is going to be kind of minor.

I just post them on the assumption that getting started is better than not doing it at all.

[edschweppe.livejournal.com]

I hope your life will, in the not-to-distant future, stabilize enough that you can get back to blogging. Respectful of Otters has pride of place as the first tab of my "lefty blogs" bookmarked tabs in Firefox.

(I also hope that the various Forbidden Subjects resolve themselves in ways that bring joy - or at least non-obsessing. And not just because I want you to have the time and energy for blogging...)

[verymelm.livejournal.com]

That was going to be my question, too! While I read other "lefty blogs", Respectful of Otters was my first and still my favorite. Just the way you think about and write about things makes a certain kind of sense that some of the more "posturing" blogs sometimes miss.

So.. in light of having my question stolen.. what brought you do the work you currently do (assuming that's not one of the Forbidden Subjects)?

[rivka.livejournal.com]

what brought you do the work you currently do

On the general level: I was a psych major in college because it seemed to me that psychologists asked all the really interesting questions about the world.

Based on my college interests, if I'd gone directly from college to grad school, I would've concentrated on community psychology - probably interventions with high-risk kids or domestic violence/sexual assault issues. I applied to grad schools with that in mind, but didn't get in anywhere on the first go-round.

Late in my senior year, a classmate gave a presentation in class about a new subfield of psychology called "Behavioral Medicine," which focused on psychological aspects of medical illness. I was fascinated. It dovetailed neatly with my growing consciousness of the social identity aspects of disability, and of the ways that being disabled shaped my life. So the next year, I applied to graduate schools again - this time concentrating on schools with Behavioral Medicine programs.

On the specific level: I am an HIV specialist because when I entered the internship match system (clinical psych grad school requires a one-year predoctoral internship), I matched to the University of Maryland. Their behavioral medicine internship had a heavy concentration in HIV. Although HIV had always interested me - it's a great population for practicing behavioral medicine, because there are so many levels on which the principles apply - I was dubious about how much I'd like working with a hardcore inner-city population. It turned out that I loved it. So after internship, I stayed.

I've become more and more specialized as an HIV researcher and clinician over the past few years, and don't see myself as very likely to change.

[mjlayman.livejournal.com]

Heh. The psych I saw in consult to recommend a new antidepressant not only recommended that, but that I cheat on my taxes. Makes me wonder what he does with his own taxes.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

Um, what?

[mjlayman.livejournal.com]

The Prozac stopped working early last year and the primary's prescriptions didn't work either (I have a lot of dead brain), so early this year she sent me to psych for a consult. Kaiser didn't have any appts so they referred me out to the Prince William Health Care System. The receptionist there gave me an appt with a psych who had originally been an internist and then went back to school to be a psych because I have so many medical problems.

I spent most of the first visit explaining medical stuff. The second visit, he recommended I start Cymbalta (which has worked, almost immediately I was more functional and now I'm back to waking up happy), but he also thought I should work an hour a day or so, to keep my brain busy.

I explained to him that any money I make has to go to the private disability company so there's no use wasting the effort. He said I could just not tell them about it and I said I put it on my taxes and they require me to sign the release so they get my tax forms. He said I could just get paid in cash and not put it on my tax forms. I told him, no, I couldn't cheat on my taxes (my friend Mark considers this a phobia). He also said I should join Mensa (I used words he didn't know), but I told him that there were just as many smart people in fandom and they were more fun.

He wanted me to start therapy because anybody as sick as I am needs therapy. I argued, but my primary backed him up, and so I've been twice. The therapist both times increased the wait for the next appt, she doesn't seem to think I need help, but she thinks we need to show an effort to the primary & psych, so there'll be a couple more visits, probably.

Respectful of Otters

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

Why not, instead of "Getting Back to Blogging," just post one thing?

And then see what happens next?

B

[ckd]

The question: how'd you meet curiousangel?

The non-question: while I don't know (nor have any level whatsoever of need-to-know) what's bothering you, I still hope that it is all resolved, in the way most positive for you and yours, quickly and easily. Best wishes.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

curiousangel and I met in the newsgroup alt.callahans. We had no romantic interest in each other at the outset. Then the group had a little convention in Nashville - just two dozen people or so. I flew down from Iowa City, thinking at the time that I was doing something absolutely crazy. Michael drove over from Memphis.

We knew by Saturday at dinnertime that we were very much taken with each other. We went home on Sunday and e-mailed each other every day, reams and reams of mail. A month later he came up to visit me in Iowa City, and at the end of his week's visit we knew we were going to get married.

[erikted.livejournal.com]

What's your actual job title?

[rivka.livejournal.com]

"Research Supervisor." It's a staff classification. We talked at one time about putting through an application to have my position converted to faculty (it would have been "Research Associate," I think), but it hasn't seemed especially urgent. I'm on soft money now, and I still would be if I were research faculty.

We chose my job title by setting my salary and then looking to see what titles incorporated that figure. Before my last raise I was a "Research Coordinator."

?

[(Anonymous)]

Okay...I may have very little status here as one of your many *loyal but anonymous journal lurkers/readers. *

But this entry is like asking me not to think about Pink Elephants! So, all I can do is worry about Pink Elephants!(or Forbidden Subjects...)

Legal advice? Creeping paranoia? Can't you at least let us know if you are okay?

Please? Even in a hedging way. :)

If not, my questions is: would you write an entry detailing a fairly typical "day in the medical researcher psychologist's workplace?"

Re: ?

[rivka.livejournal.com]

I am okay. Sorry to alarm you.

Yes, I will make a poat along those lines, although it might take a few days for it to go up.

(And thanks for reading.)