Neighborly disturbance update.

[rivka]

Thanks to all of you for your sympathy and advice on the situation with our neighbors. One of our landlords called on Sunday to tell us that she would be bringing a lead inspector by this week, and I told her about the situation. She was extremely sympathetic and agreed that the situation is not fair to us, in addition to being alarming. Interestingly enough, she seemed to think that she had an idea about who the aggressor was. She's going to intervene.

She also told us that one of them is going to be away all this week on military duty. So we should at least have a week of peace and quiet. Whew.

Comments

[ratphooey.livejournal.com]

I'm such a liberal - I automatically assume that the military one is the abuser.

[ailbhe]

So did I. But I talked to myself very sternly about it as soon as I realised :/

[ratphooey.livejournal.com]

Me, too. :-)

[wcg.livejournal.com]

Interesting concept of 'liberal' there.

Based on my years in service, I'd be inclined to suspect the service member too, just on the basis of statistics, and I suppose a lot of people who identify as 'conservative' would do the same. But things can be funny, and I've certainly known of cases where a non-military partner was being abusive. So best to not assume anything in these situations.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

One thing that occurs to me is that, under the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy, the nonmilitary partner has a lot of power over the military partner. Assuming that she wants to stay in the service, anyway.

[wcg.livejournal.com]

Good point.

[ailbhe]

Thanks for the reminder. That didn't crop up during my talking-to-self lecture, and it's an important point.

[therealjae.livejournal.com]

So Don't Ask, Don't Tell is really Don't Ask, Better Hope No One Finds Out Through Any Means Or Else You're Toast?

-J

[wcg.livejournal.com]

Yep, that's pretty much it. Any disclosure, voluntary or otherwise, counts as "telling."

[ratphooey.livejournal.com]

YOu are correct - it's neither liberal nor conservative to assume that, of two people, the one in the military is likely to be more aggressive/violent. It's probably just common sense.

But I think my comment was clear that making assumptions was inappropriate.

[wcg.livejournal.com]

Yes, it was. My point was to make clear that there are many of us in the (current or former) armed forces who hold liberal views. Several are currently running for elective office.

[ratphooey.livejournal.com]

It's not a point you needed to make to me. :-) I know plenty of current/former military types who are liberals, including my own father.

[green-knight.livejournal.com]

Hope the situation resolves. My neighbour regularly shouts at her kids, and I am glad that I am kid-less myself, because I wouldn't want anyone to have to regularly observe that. It's not exactly a role model.

[irismoonlight.livejournal.com]

You got tons of useful advice on the previous post, so I won't repeat what I agree with, but what I didn't see was this:

1. Do not, under any circumstances, go outside and try to intervene during a fight. I believe cops hate domestic disturbances because more of them get *killed* responding to domestics than any other call.

2. If I could do it without being caught, I'd drop one or more women's shelter brochures in their mailbox/under their door every day after a fight.

3. If your concern is for the couple, does your community have an LGBT center or organization? They might have some resources for same-sex domestic abuse/counseling. I'm making the assumption they're a couple; if so, anonymously dropping a brochure or list of counselors who specialise in lesbian relationships might be less ... problematic... than the local women's shelter brochure.

[wcg.livejournal.com]

Good.