Fun times for Marriage Equality.

[rivka]

Yesterday after work we went to the state capitol in Annapolis to lobby for GLBT rights with Equality Maryland. The two major issues on their agenda are marriage equality (particularly, defeating a proposed "Defense of Marriage" constitutional amendment) and adding transgendered people to the state anti-discrimination law. The crowd mostly seemed focused on the marriage issue, perhaps because Maryland has a right-to-marry lawsuit that has made it through the first round of the courts and gotten everyone fired up.





We did this event two years ago, and at that time it was much more of a march-and-rally, with high profile speakers like Alan Keyes' lesbian daughter and Matthew Shepherd's mother. This time the focus was very much on lobbying, and the rally was just to get people feeling energized and confident. We were even organized by legislative district as we stood around listening to the speakers.

After the rally, we went off in our district groups to meet with our legislators. Our district coordinator was not particularly coordinated; he hadn't managed to get us advance appointments. So we just went up to our delegates' and senator's offices and hoped they would see us. Two delegates were there and willing to meet with us. One told us, at length, that he was willing to give the issue a hearing but hadn't made up his mind. He said that he personally didn't discriminate, but that he was "a man of strong faith." I brought up the critical distinction between civil and religious marriage, and the fact that churches will always be able to refuse to perform gay marriages just as they can refuse to perform interfaith ones now. Another of our group mentioned that liberal churches which would like to perform gay marriages are currently forbidden by law to do so, and that this is a violation of their right to religious freedom. The other delegate we saw was brief and to the point: we had her vote, because "I'm too old to worry about what other people are doing with their lives." We left a note and literature packet for our other delegate and for our state senator, both of whom have strong GLBT-friendly voting records.

We went out for sushi afterward with telerib and another young woman who goes to our church, and had a magnificent dinner. Mmmm, sushi.

Alex was remarkably well-behaved all evening long, despite the strange setting and the disruption of her normal routine. She did have a tendency to want to break into "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" at the rally, but not loud enough to really disturb people. She loved carrying her little sign. She was quiet and calm in the legislators' offices, munching crackers or looking at a book. And at dinner she ate and played quietly at the table, allowing the rest of us to have an adult conversation. Go, Alex!

In other gay marriage news, last Sunday was our church's Marriage Equality banner dedication. Maybe 60 people showed up to church a half-hour early for the dedication, despite the extreme cold. I found myself wondering if our ministers wore ski jackets under their black robes.

Here's what the banner looks like close up.



And here's a nice ground-level shot of our imposing church facade, with the banner on display.



I whined to Michael in advance, "They're gonna make us sing "Gentle Angry People," and I wasn't wrong. But we also sang "We'll Build a Land" and "Hail the Glorious Golden City," which are two of my favorite hymns, so that was okay.

Here's a picture of the dedication service. Our ministers are at the center left (with the purple stoles). Next to them is our student intern minister, who spearheaded the banner effort. I think that's the choir over on the right.

Comments

[kightp.livejournal.com]

That photo of Alex? Totally needs to become your next LJ usericon.

[gtrout.livejournal.com]

We've never met, but this is me, giving you a hug, for fighting the good fight. Namaste.

[therealjae.livejournal.com]

Okay, that picture of Alex is *great*. That's even better than the story my German friend recently told me about how his ten-month-old son has started singing along with Heinz Rudolf Kunze songs. :-)

-J

[rivka.livejournal.com]

Well, good, because Alex doesn't sing along with Heinz Rudolf Kunze songs. ;-)

I'm not entirely sure where to draw the line when it comes to ascribing my own political opinions to my child. On the one hand, I generally think it's distasteful when parents treat their young child as a political signboard, or put words in the child's mouth that they're too young to understand.[1] My kid is not my mini-me. On the other hand, I think it's important to communicate our values from the very beginning, and to make political involvement and social justice work part of our family's everyday lives.

As a compromise, I tried to pick a slogan for Alex's sign that was developmentally appropriate. She doesn't understand laws or marriage, but she has a pretty good sense of what loving and being loved are.

[1] And yet, there's no way I'm going to be able to refrain from buying her a "Mommy, where did I come from? Teach evolution" (http://www.babypolitico.com/products_2.html) T-shirt.

[therealjae.livejournal.com]

That's incredibly well thought through, and very cool.

-J

[naomikritzer]

Were you quoting the Fred Small song Scott & Jamie? Because Alex's sign immediately got it going through my head and I wound up sniffling over the laundry.

I agree with you about putting political opinions in the mouths of children, and yet I stuck a "Women for Gore/Lieberman" sticker on Molly when she was an infant (in October of 2000) and took her picture. Because I could, that's why. And it was really cute, especially as her hand was curled in a little fist in this inadvertant "power to the people!" sort of gesture.

I was thinking recently (and may have posted this on your blog, even, I can't remember what sparked this) about the song from South Pacific, You've Got to be Carefully Taught. (You've got to be taught to hate and fear / You've got to be taught from year to year / It's got to be poured in your dear little ear / You've got to be carefully taught.) It's a song about racism, but it applies 100% to homophobia. Children absolutely get on a gut level that love makes a family, and it undoubtedly requires a lot of work (or some rigorously enforced ignorance) to teach them otherwise.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

Were you quoting the Fred Small song Scott & Jamie? Because Alex's sign immediately got it going through my head and I wound up sniffling over the laundry.

No, I don't know that song. Sorry to make you sniffle!

Children absolutely get on a gut level that love makes a family, and it undoubtedly requires a lot of work (or some rigorously enforced ignorance) to teach them otherwise.

Growing up, I didn't know that I knew anyone who was gay. (My parents were liberals of the era that believed that you showed your acceptance of differences by appearing not to notice them.) I'm glad that, for Alex, the first time she encounters statements about gay-people-as-a-group, she will make the connection to people she loves dearly.

[naomikritzer]

Are you familiar with Fred Small's music at all? It's a lot better than "Gentle Angry People" for a rally for gay rights, IMO. "Scott and Jamie" is his song about a gay couple that briefly did foster care in the 1980s. The chorus includes the line, "Love is love, no matter who, no matter where / Love is love, and a child knows when it's there."

Fred used to perform at my college every single year (until he burned out and became a UU minister, basically). Probably his best-known gay-positive song is "Everything Possible," which is a lullabye and a lovely song to sing to a kid no matter what your orientation. ("You can be anybody you want to be / You can love whomever you will. / You can travel any country where your heart leads / And know I will love you still.")

[rivka.livejournal.com]

Aww, now I'm sniffly too.

Yes, I know "Everything Positive." And "If I Were a Moose." Hadn't heard of this song before.

[redbird23.livejournal.com]

I think you do an excellent job of balancing this issue. It is so important that we raise our children to understand our values, what we consider right and wrong. I believe it's possible to do this without brainwashing. Teaching children that there is more than one way to think about a subject is an excellent start.

[aloha-moira.livejournal.com]

I was actually going to comment on having Alex hold the sign, but I really like the way you thought it through (and anyway, "Love is Love" is miles removed from dead fetus posters). Nice. :)

[lerryn.livejournal.com]

It's great that you could be there.

BTW, nice icon, but not Pepsi-safe :)

[wcg.livejournal.com]

That's great. I love the picture of Alex with the sign.

[redbird]

That's great. I like the picture of the three of you with "our marriage doesn't need defending."

[mjlayman.livejournal.com]

No matter how this turns out in 20 years, Alex will be able to look at that picture and think "I was involved."

[chargirlgenius.livejournal.com]

He said that he personally didn't discriminate, but that he was "a man of strong faith."

As somebody of strong faith, myself, I've never quite understood why that should be a license to support discriminatory legislation.

*sigh*

[hobbitbabe.livejournal.com]

"Gentle Angry People" seems to be impossible to sing with energy and on key, especially outdoors and unaccompanied. It has no rhythm or something. Even worse than John Lennon's Imagine.

Deleted and replaced due to a typo and I still can't figure out this LJ thing.

[bosssio.livejournal.com]

Oh, good, I am not the only one who doesn't like that song - it just doesn't work as a protest/activism song, IMO.

I heard that when Verdi died, there was a tremendously long line for the viewing of his body. The crowd spontaneously broke into singing "Chorus of the Hebrew slaves" - now THAT would be intensely moving.

Rivka, I love love love love your arguments over religious freedom -i.e. the freedom TO marry homosexual couples. I think that turns this "we need to be respectful of religions" argument on its head.

Of course, I also don't see why civil marriages should not include polygamy. Sure, polygamy kind of messes with many of our inheritance laws, but heck, that is a silly reason to ban it. And if the real reason is because it conflicts with religious beliefs, heck, we can quote the bible and the Koran and the Torah with tons of references to polygamy.

I can see why some activists don't want to go there, since polygamy freaks out middle america - but does it freak them out more or less than gay marriage? That is the question.

Yeah, preaching to the converted here, I know. ; )

Robes and Weather

[laurarey.livejournal.com]

I found myself wondering if our ministers wore ski jackets under their black robes.

Heh. You would be amazed at what I've worn, or not worn, under my robe at times. The worst is when it is sweltering hot and you have to wear robes and stoles.