(no subject)

[rivka]

"You can't make decisions for me," Alex informed me this morning. It's a theme she's been developing for some time, being two years old.

You can't really fix a case of The Twos with good parenting, although to some extent you can mitigate its effects. Mostly all you can do is consistently present your message and then wait it out. Oh, and also? You can do whatever you can to make The Twos more entertaining for yourself.

To that end, I have taught Alex to reply to the question "What are you rebelling against?" with a cheerful, "What have you got?"

And she's learned to demand her Halloween spoils by drumming with her hands and singing, "I want candy! Bomp-ba-bomp-ba-bomp Ba-bomp bomp."

She doesn't get more candy that way than the other way, but it puts all three of us in a much better mood than plain old whining does.

It's possible that, as parents, Michael and I are going to hell for this.

Comments

[casperflea.livejournal.com]

Nah, you don't go to hell until your 3 year old starts singing "my humps my humps my humps, my lovely lady lumps!"

[ailbhe]

It doesn't count if she stops by the time she's three?

you are not alone

[going-not-gone.livejournal.com]

We occasionally invoke the Prophet Jagger with our children, singing "you can't always get what you want" on occasions when they are not going to get what they want.

My feeling is that children are expensive and inconvenient, the least they can do is provide a little entertainment value!

Re: you are not alone

[naomikritzer]

Word.

Re: you are not alone

[hobbitbabe.livejournal.com]

rivka's already heard this one, but I'll tell it again. One of our kids was once singing this song to zirself, and then explained it to us. "You can't always get what you want - because it might be an endangered species!"

[carbonel]

If you're going to hell for that, my mother and I will be going to hell for teaching my cousin (when he was three years old) to sing "Throw a nickel on the drum, save another drunken bum." But he seems to have survived the experience.

[treacle-well.livejournal.com]

You are brilliant.

[wcg.livejournal.com]

It's OK, you'll just go to Unitarian Hell.

[elusis.livejournal.com]

Is that where you are surrounded by other guilt-racked Unitarians, participating in an endless budget meeting while sitting on uncomfortable chairs with only non-fair-trade decaf and stale pork rinds for sustenance?

[wcg.livejournal.com]

Something like that, yeah.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

I've always thought of UU hell as the place where everyone has identical beliefs.

[elusis.livejournal.com]

Aw, where's the humor potential in that though? ;)

[wcg.livejournal.com]

Wow, that's awful. Having to spend all of eternity in the College of Cardinals...

[naomikritzer]

That made me laugh out loud.

[elusis.livejournal.com]

I'm Sister Rail Gun of Patience (http://whump.com/dropbox/other/ujname.html), and I'm here to help. (Or I could be Sister Immaculate Straight Razor of Mindfulness (http://www.elsewhere.org/cgi-bin/jihad), if that's more your cup of tea, or whichever refreshing beverage or snack you prefer.)

[akicif.livejournal.com]

Wait until she starts coming home with notes asking for explanations of filk songs (I came back from Conspiracy with a Frank Heyes tape that resulted - mere weeks later - in having to explain Little Fuzzy Animals to a nursery school teacher who strongly disapproved of swearing)

[naomikritzer]

I taught my kids to say "yay, Red Sox" and "boo, Yankees" on cue. They also know the correct response to "a whomp bob a loo bop" and they can spell YMCA out with their arms. But it's never occurred to me to teach them to sing "I want candy." That's hilarious.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

Hee! Alex was 16 months old when she mastered the correct opinion of the Yankees (http://rivka.livejournal.com/318420.html). We were so proud.

We didn't deliberately teach her to sing "I Want Candy," but Michael and I both have a tendency to break out with it when she makes a request for candy that we don't intend to take seriously. Somewhere along the line, she decided that that's just how it's done. Yay!

[selki.livejournal.com]

Yay, indeed! Singing beats whining any day.

[erbie.livejournal.com]

If you're going to hell, so are llnaughty and I. When our now 6 yo was that age, we had her saying "Sock it to me!", "Hah", "Papa's got a brand new bag!", and "Get on up!" in James Brown's voice.

She won't do it anymore, but now we have a 19 month old to entertain us!

[erbie.livejournal.com]

Oh, and even worse, the baby will answer "yeah" to just about any question asked of her. This has limitless potential for mirth.

We have a video of our neighbor asking her things like "Do you want to go to Vegas and pick up some hookers?" "yeah" "Do you wanto to start a baby drug cartel?" "yeah" "And do you want to be the leader of the baby drug cartel?" "yeah" "Do you want to steal a car and crash it into a liquor store?" "yeah"

[bosssio.livejournal.com]

when Liam was 1, he had two phases. "Yes!" and "press da button" (meaning the light switch).

So we created the following dialog.

Us: Liam, are you an evil genius?

L: Yes!

Us: did you build a doomsday machine?

L: Yes!

Us: And what are you going to do with it?

L; Press da button!

btw, Liam's (now age 2) current favorite song is "we will rock you." watched over and over again on youtube.

[kip-w.livejournal.com]

That's one of the selections on Donkey Konga, and Sarah (5) has lately expressed her approval of it.

[ex-serenejo.livejournal.com]

Nope. A special circle in *heaven*. Seriously.

[klwalton.livejournal.com]

To that end, I have taught Alex to reply to the question "What are you rebelling against?" with a cheerful, "What have you got?"

Okay, that made me hork iced tea up my nose. Ow.

[ricevermicelli.livejournal.com]

Dorian is so much younger than Alex, but I feel like I'm already behind on my parental snark.

I comfort myself with the knowledge that he'll be able to rock himself out to Anya's "Bunnies Aren't Just Cute" solo just about as soon as he learns to talk.

[lerryn.livejournal.com]

That is awesome :)

[kip-w.livejournal.com]

With your history of good works, you'll probably only go to Heck.