Holding pattern.

[rivka]

Still home. Waiting for the midwife to call back.

L&D is apparently totally full. There's a possibility that they'll be able to book time in a regular OR. My symptoms - cramps and bleeding - are worsening, although they're still not worse than a regular period, and I suspect that if they can't get me in on a scheduled basis I'm going to wind up in the ER tonight or tomorrow.

I can't even begin to express how shaken I am by not being able to have the procedure when I thought I would. I'm really scared.

When I last talked to Kathy, around 4pm, she conveyed her opinion that paging her isn't going to help matters any. I know she's trying to line something up for me. I wish she'd keep in better touch, and yet I know that if L&D is completely full she must be slammed with deliveries. The practice is down a midwife right now.

She said that the fact that I'm bleeding and cramping might change the picture. Earlier in the day I had passed on the message that I was bleeding more, but it seems that what was conveyed to her was just more spotting like yesterday.

I really don't want to miscarry this pregnancy on my own. I don't think it's safe. I wish I had a better sense of when it would be time to try the ER of a different hospital.

I wish she would call. Just with an update. Just so I could ask some more questions.

Comments

[fairoriana.livejournal.com]

I'm so so so sorry. We are here. We are thinking of you and praying for you. You will be fine. Please feel free to call if you need to talk to someone.

[janetmiles.livejournal.com]

Damn. Good Thoughts continue.

Would it help if I passed this on, with minimal detail, to some non-LJ people who don't know you but are sincerely religious and will add you to their prayer lists?

[threeringedmoon.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry that you are going through this.

[platypus]

I'm so sorry about all of this, and I wish you were getting more support from the medical people. If you need to talk to her, I think you should go ahead and call; you know she's trying and that she's busy, but you only need a few minutes for questions, and I know I always feel at least a little more in control when I know what symptoms would signal an urgent need to get immediate care.

fast car

[acceberskoorb.livejournal.com]

Call if you want me to come over; I can be there in half an hour. I have some awesome board games and though I don't know any good distracting jokes, I did just finish writing a HiLARious skit about Enoch Pratt that's worth at least four minutes of distraction. Well, maybe not four WHOLE minutes. DId I mention that I have some awesome board games? Half an hour, door-to-door.

[txanne.livejournal.com]

I wish I could do more than pray. I don't think it would be unreasonable--at 6:00 on a Friday night--to call her back and ask her which ER she'd recommend.

[jonquil.livejournal.com]

"Paging her isn't going to help" WHOM? It's going to help you, because you are a miscarrying woman who needs information. I am angry on your behalf.

I like the idea upthread of calling and asking her which emergency room she would recommend if the situation gets worse tonight.

[jonquil.livejournal.com]

BTW, I, too, am praying to you.

An assertive response might be:

"Hello. I am cramping and bleeding and I am going to the ER NOW. Which one do you recommend?"

That makes it clear that you are taking action yourself, and gives her permission to participate in the decision. You can then point out, if necessary, that it isn't safe to miscarry this pregnancy at home.

[patgreene.livejournal.com]

My thoughts exactly.

[aloha-moira.livejournal.com]

I agree - I really think you should call and clarify what the 'signal' would be for you to get the urgent care. However busy your midwife might be, I am sure she would rather take two minutes to ensure that you know how and when to get the care you need, if it's necessary... now is not the time to worry about inconveniencing people! Though as a hopelessly shy individual, I know how difficult that can be.

I wish there was something more that I could do for you, but if it is helpful to know, I've been thinking hopeful thoughts for you.

[zingerella.livejournal.com]

Oh geez.

*flaps uselessly*

Sorry. Done with that, now.

I agree with those above, and think that you, as the person dealing with the cramping and bleeding, are the one who is entitled to ask your health care provider to provide some health care, now, when you need it. If they can't see you at the clinic, then, yes, ask them which ER they recommend, or go to the one associated with the hospital with which you are most comfortable.

You and yours, but you especially, are in my thoughts.

[kip-w.livejournal.com]

Whatever it takes. Get yourself well so we can all get together and have a nice meal somewhere some time.

[annafdd.livejournal.com]

I am often in the situation the midwife is in: trying as hard as I can to do something difficult for somebody, and truly really having to stop to answer questions and give reassurances does not help to get the thing done.

[jonquil.livejournal.com]

But for midwifery, part of "the thing" is answering questions and giving reassurances. The whole point of midwifery is that it's more personal and patient-centered than OB/GYN.