rivka: (alex pensive)
rivka ([personal profile] rivka) wrote2008-02-16 06:45 pm

My future vegetarian. Or psychopath.

Alex has been way into helping me make dinner, lately. I have to keep a close eye on her to make sure she doesn't add things unilaterally, but in general it's nice to have her company in the kitchen.

Tonight I was making shrimp scampi pasta. Alex loooves to peel things, so I had her help me peel the shrimp - they'd already been deveined, so the shells were pre-split down the back. As she worked, I thought with satisfaction about how great it was that she was already a real help in the kitchen, even at her age.

Then she started talking. "This one doesn't want to be peeled."

"Why not?" I asked.

"He just doesn't," she said dolefully. "He doesn't like it."

"But we have to peel them, or we can't eat them," I said. I helped her take the tail off and dropped it in the bowl. She picked up another one.

"This one does like to be peeled." I breathed a sigh of relief, until she continued. "But he doesn't like to have me take his little leggies off." She ripped them off, picked up another shrimp.

"This one used to like it, but now he doesn't. He doesn't like it anymore." She assumed a shrimp voice, high and quavery. "'Don't peel me! I don't like it!'" Her voice changed, became soft and sympathetic. "Don't cry, little shrimp. I will take care of you." She patted it soothingly. Then she tore the shell off and dropped it in the bowl.

Mercifully, the next shrimp liked being peeled, and after that one she lost interest in the game. And at suppertime she wolfed down every shrimp we gave her... although, at the end of dinner, one of the shrimp in her bowl did start crying for its mother. The baby shrimp and the mother shrimp had a touching reunion before Alex ate them both.

So... nascent vegetarian, or nascent psychopath. Could go either way, I guess, at this point.

[identity profile] minnehaha.livejournal.com 2008-02-16 11:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Next week, cook lobster for dinner.

B

[identity profile] rivka.livejournal.com 2008-02-17 12:45 am (UTC)(link)
Heh. I couldn't. The one time I made cream of crab soup, I had to have the person at the seafood counter steam the crabs for me. I can't handle cooking live animals that are further up the food chain than mussels.

[identity profile] minnehaha.livejournal.com 2008-02-17 01:25 am (UTC)(link)
I remember the first time I cooked crabs. I had them in a pot on the stove. I opened the lid, and one jumped out. I tried to grab him, and he ran under the refrigerator.

B

[identity profile] jhetley.livejournal.com 2008-02-16 11:53 pm (UTC)(link)
I think all small children are psychopaths. Most of them become civilized as they grow up.

[identity profile] curiousangel.livejournal.com 2008-02-16 11:55 pm (UTC)(link)
So... nascent vegetarian, or nascent psychopath. Could go either way, I guess, at this point.

Embrace the healing power of "AND". :)

[identity profile] pixel.livejournal.com 2008-02-17 12:01 am (UTC)(link)
Well, if nothing else there is no ambiguity that she is you two's daughter. :)

[identity profile] mactavish.livejournal.com 2008-02-17 12:05 am (UTC)(link)
That is very freaky. I would be giggling.

[identity profile] micheinnz.livejournal.com 2008-02-17 12:11 am (UTC)(link)
At that age, Agent Weasel used to put her toy pigs and sheep into a container which served as an oven, and cook them. Her vegetarian relatives were horrified.

[identity profile] telerib.livejournal.com 2008-02-17 12:29 am (UTC)(link)
I was actually hanging over the arm of my chair laughing, just so you know. :)
naomikritzer: (Default)

[personal profile] naomikritzer 2008-02-17 12:58 am (UTC)(link)
We read "Charlotte's Web" to Molly a few years ago with some trepidation; it's a wonderful book, but does inspire vegetarianism in some kids. Around the time Ed finished reading it to her, Molly asked me why the farmer wanted to kill Wilbur. "Well, we get a lot of different foods from pigs," I explained. "Bacon comes from pigs. And sausage. And pork chops, pork roast, ham..."

"Pork chops," she said. "It's been ages since we've had pork chops. Could we have them tomorrow?"

So, yeah, I feel your....amusement and concern? Yeah.

[identity profile] meglimir.livejournal.com 2008-02-17 01:04 am (UTC)(link)
ROTFL
nascent Newberry Award winner and bestselling author, i expect!

[identity profile] roadnotes.livejournal.com 2008-02-17 01:13 am (UTC)(link)
Sounds perfectly normal to me... which may say something very telling about my family and upbringing. Ask Soren to tell you about my niece and "Beans don't got rights!"

[identity profile] iamjw.livejournal.com 2008-02-17 01:40 am (UTC)(link)
"Don't cry, little shrimp. I will take care of you." She patted it soothingly. Then she tore the shell off and dropped it in the bowl.

This bit made me laugh uncontrollably. I'm thinking you might not want to have an aquarium in your home any time soon :-)

[identity profile] klwalton.livejournal.com 2008-02-17 10:04 am (UTC)(link)
I read this out loud to Tim (even doing the shrimp voice ;-)). He's still laughing. I have a feeling, "Don't peel me, bro!" (hey, we riffed on it, what can I say?) is about to become a part of our Sekrit Language :).

Also, I adore this photo of Alex. May she *never* lose that.

[identity profile] tea-dragon.livejournal.com 2008-02-18 02:22 am (UTC)(link)
*still giggling*

The average cooking show could so totally use commentary from a three year old to liven things up; I can't stop thinking about the comic possibilities :)

[identity profile] kightp.livejournal.com 2008-02-18 02:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Iron Chef Toddler!

[identity profile] charlottezweb.livejournal.com 2008-02-18 01:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Royce had his first taste of bacon on Sat. He took a bite and his face lit up. "Mmmmm," he says, "what's this?" "bacon," my partner says, "from a pig." "Pig! Oink, oink, yum!" Royce replies.

Oh, yes, I know those tendencies. Small children---not quite civilized.

[identity profile] kip-w.livejournal.com 2008-02-18 10:45 pm (UTC)(link)
We have our next Speaker to Seafood! Great post.

When we had chickens, Dad was trimming their wings so they couldn't flap their way over the fence of their enclosure. One was putting up quite a fuss, and Dad spoke soothingly: "Don't worry, little chicky. I'm not gonna hurt you. Yet."

[identity profile] treadpath.livejournal.com 2008-02-19 04:24 pm (UTC)(link)
Bwa! That is utterly hilarious! Have you considered nascent vegetarian psychopath? ;)