"We'll understand it better bye and bye..." (Part II).

[rivka]

Seventeen days after my D&C, the pathology report is still not back. That's the bad news.

Fortunately, though, that's the only bad news. Based on the way my HCG (human chorionic gonadotropin, a.k.a. "pregnancy hormone") levels have been dropping like a stone, taken in context with the immediate experience of the D&C, my midwife is certain that what I had was a "blighted ovum" - a fertilized egg so messed-up that it made a placenta but wasn't able to grow or sustain an embryo.

My HCG level as of Friday was a stunning 33, down from 190 the Friday before. (I don't know what it was the night of the D&C.) We have high hopes that it will hit zero sometime this week. Then my body can go about the business of returning to its normal rhythms.

An exam showed that everything is getting back to normal: uterus and ovaries feel normal, cervix is closed, and there's physical evidence that the hormones are normalizing.

We can start trying to conceive again as soon as I've had a couple of normal cycles. If I get pregnant again, we'll monitor the pregnancy more intensely: HCG levels beginning at the positive test, progesterone levels, an ultrasound at 7 or 8 weeks. But there's no reason to believe that this would happen again. It was one of those random chances.

Needless to say, I'm still very very sad. (Wow was it hard to be back in my midwives' office.) But it's a big relief to know that there isn't anything horrible hanging over my head. There's no physical aftermath to a blighted ovum pregnancy. No long and frightening period of monitoring. We can just focus on the long, long job of picking up the pieces, emotionally.

So: sad, but thankful.

Comments

[nex0s.livejournal.com]

I'm so very relieved to hear this much good news. I hope the pathology report gets back ASAP!

Keep being gentle to yourself :)

N.

[pameladean]

Oh, thank goodness. And they should hurry up with the pathology report. Sheesh.

P.

[ailbhe]

I'm so relieved. I'm glad for you. The whole thing has sounded so nightmarish (by which I mean like a nightmare, not just horrible) that I wasn't at all confident that it wouldn't keep getting worse. As usual, I can't imagine how you all felt, but I'm glad there's nothing to dread, at least.

[minnaleigh.livejournal.com]

I am so thankful on your behalf!

[kaitiana.livejournal.com]

Oh wonderful, I'm so glad to hear this. A very sad situation, indeed, but about as positive an outcome as I could hope for. Wishing you the very best in trying to conceive again.

[eeyorerin]

I am thankful that it wasn't the worst-case scenario, but also sad on your behalf, and wishing you continued strength and courage in the rest of the journey.

[puzzlement.livejournal.com]

Like everyone else, I'm glad to hear that your midwife has ruled out trophoblastic disease and that physically all is going well. My best wishes through your continued grief.

[jonquil.livejournal.com]

I am sorry for your loss. I am very glad that the wait is a couple of cycles rather than six months, and that the worst consequences seem unlikely.

[tammylc.livejournal.com]

So glad to hear the news is good re. trophoblastic disease.

*hugs*

[kate_nepveu]

I'm so glad. Grief is hard enough without fear on top.

[kalmn.livejournal.com]

hurray probably not cancer! hurray! wooooo!

[ailsaek.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank goodness!

[wcg.livejournal.com]

Thanks be to God. I know the sense of loss never goes away, but this is such good news.

[mjlayman.livejournal.com]

An excellent resolution! Doesn't help with the grief, but it gives you a clear way forward.

[chargirlgenius.livejournal.com]

Ok, *now* I'm relieved. Still thinking of you on the emotional side of things.

[ratphooey.livejournal.com]

It sounds like everything is going well, under the circumstances, at least physically.

And maybe waiting a couple of cycles will give you a chance to continue to get your head and heart around things, emotionally.

[iamjw.livejournal.com]

I'm glad for the good news. As you say, now you can focus on putting your lives back together.

[cynthia1960.livejournal.com]

This is great news, may the healing continue.

[janetmiles.livejournal.com]

Precisely.

[juthwara.livejournal.com]

I'm so relieved for you that it looks like the physical recovery will be straightforward and uncomplicated. I hope the emotional recovery comes in time.

[redbird]

Yes: definitely good news, and yes, it would be startling were you not still sad.

a gentle warning

[(Anonymous)]

Hey Rivka,
I'm so glad the news is as good as it can be. Having been through this, can I just warn you that that first couple of cycles will probably hit you hard -- something unarguable about a period that really gets to you. You need to expect to feel far more than usually sad, especially if you don't get pregnant as soon as you'd like. No one warned me, so I thought I'd warn you. I hope it doesn't hit you as hard.

Be well
Emma

[sciamanna.livejournal.com]

So glad and relieved to hear that. And ::hugs::.

Pathology tests can take a long time, sometimes just for "can't hurry nature" reasons, but yes, it can be bad to be left hanging.

[sashajwolf.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you've had at least this much good news.

[treadpath.livejournal.com]

I'm glad that there is relief on the physical health front and nothing horrible hanging over your head! *hugs because not good with the words*

[fairoriana.livejournal.com]

What a relief to have all signs pointing to the conclusion of this unhappy period in your life. I hope that you will find joyful days ahead, and quickly!

[kcobweb.livejournal.com]

So glad. *hugs*

[jerusha.livejournal.com]

I'm glad all the available indications are positive.

<shakes pathology lab until final report falls out>