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Mar. 13th, 2008 11:31 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rivkaStill no DSL at home.
So I share with you, with commentary, four Conversations With Our Daughter that I wrote down on lined paper with a pen.
Conversation #1: Erudite.
Alex: (playing with blocks) Look, Papa, I made a forest.
Michael: (to me) Wow, that's some solid representation!
Alex: Yes, so it is.
I don't know why, but "so it is" just totally cracks me up, coming from a three-year-old. It wasn't until after this conversation that I realized how often we say "so it is" - probably because conversation with a toddler involves a great deal of responding to statements of the obvious.
Conversation #2: Imaginative.
Alex: There's a wolf in here.
Us: There is? Where?
Alex: In here. Right there. (gestures to empty space.)
Michael: Is this one of those very, very tiny wolves?
Alex: Yes. (gestures with thumb and index finger about half an inch apart). It's this big. Are you afraid of the wolf?
Me: No.
Alex: You're not afraid of the wolf?
Me: Not such a tiny little wolf, no.
Alex: Are you afraid of big wolves?
Me: I guess so.
Alex: There's a BIG wolf in here.
Unfortunately, I cannot reproduce the long conversation we had about a dragon who initially attacked the house and then wound up marrying Alex. We are pretty much knee-deep in wolves and dragons, 24/7. Have I mentioned before that she's going through a huge fairy tale phase?
Conversation #3: Embarrassing.
Alex: Africa is a special kind of zoo.
Me: No, no. Africa is a huge land. It has cities and lots of people living there, and it also has a lot of animals too.
Alex, scornfully: Noooo, it doesn't have cities and people!
Me: (dies of liberal guilt)
Okay, I didn't really die of liberal guilt, because (a) she's not quite three and (b) no one heard her say this but me. But it was kind of shocking to realize just how easy it is for kids to absorb ethnocentric assumptions about the world, even when it's the last thing that you, as their parent, want to convey. But yeah, when you're a preschooler - especially a white preschooler - probably your only exposure to the word "Africa" comes from the context of African animals.
We talked more about it, and when we got to the zoo (which is where we were headed) I was able to show her the relative positions of Baltimore and Africa on a little world map. Now I have to figure out how much cultural education constitutes overkill. Just in general, she should probably have a laminated world map to consult when we talk or read about other places. But does a three-year-old even understand the concept of a map?
Conversation #4: Sad.
Alex: Is there going to be a new baby in our family?
Me: No.
Alex: Why not?
Me: Remember when I was very sick? That was because we thought there was a baby growing in my tummy, but there wasn't. And it made me sick.
Alex: But you're not sick anymore.
Me: I know, but there still isn't a baby.
Alex: Awwwww.
Me: I know. I wish there was a baby too. It makes me very sad, and sometimes I cry about it.
Alex: It makes me very sad, but I don't cry.
No commentary on this one. It happened out of the blue while I was doing the nursery school drop-off one morning. I guess that, just as we didn't realize we had to explain that moving meant not living in the old house again, we also didn't realize that we had to explain that healing from the miscarriage didn't automatically equal pregnancy. Damn.
So I share with you, with commentary, four Conversations With Our Daughter that I wrote down on lined paper with a pen.
Conversation #1: Erudite.
Alex: (playing with blocks) Look, Papa, I made a forest.
Michael: (to me) Wow, that's some solid representation!
Alex: Yes, so it is.
I don't know why, but "so it is" just totally cracks me up, coming from a three-year-old. It wasn't until after this conversation that I realized how often we say "so it is" - probably because conversation with a toddler involves a great deal of responding to statements of the obvious.
Conversation #2: Imaginative.
Alex: There's a wolf in here.
Us: There is? Where?
Alex: In here. Right there. (gestures to empty space.)
Michael: Is this one of those very, very tiny wolves?
Alex: Yes. (gestures with thumb and index finger about half an inch apart). It's this big. Are you afraid of the wolf?
Me: No.
Alex: You're not afraid of the wolf?
Me: Not such a tiny little wolf, no.
Alex: Are you afraid of big wolves?
Me: I guess so.
Alex: There's a BIG wolf in here.
Unfortunately, I cannot reproduce the long conversation we had about a dragon who initially attacked the house and then wound up marrying Alex. We are pretty much knee-deep in wolves and dragons, 24/7. Have I mentioned before that she's going through a huge fairy tale phase?
Conversation #3: Embarrassing.
Alex: Africa is a special kind of zoo.
Me: No, no. Africa is a huge land. It has cities and lots of people living there, and it also has a lot of animals too.
Alex, scornfully: Noooo, it doesn't have cities and people!
Me: (dies of liberal guilt)
Okay, I didn't really die of liberal guilt, because (a) she's not quite three and (b) no one heard her say this but me. But it was kind of shocking to realize just how easy it is for kids to absorb ethnocentric assumptions about the world, even when it's the last thing that you, as their parent, want to convey. But yeah, when you're a preschooler - especially a white preschooler - probably your only exposure to the word "Africa" comes from the context of African animals.
We talked more about it, and when we got to the zoo (which is where we were headed) I was able to show her the relative positions of Baltimore and Africa on a little world map. Now I have to figure out how much cultural education constitutes overkill. Just in general, she should probably have a laminated world map to consult when we talk or read about other places. But does a three-year-old even understand the concept of a map?
Conversation #4: Sad.
Alex: Is there going to be a new baby in our family?
Me: No.
Alex: Why not?
Me: Remember when I was very sick? That was because we thought there was a baby growing in my tummy, but there wasn't. And it made me sick.
Alex: But you're not sick anymore.
Me: I know, but there still isn't a baby.
Alex: Awwwww.
Me: I know. I wish there was a baby too. It makes me very sad, and sometimes I cry about it.
Alex: It makes me very sad, but I don't cry.
No commentary on this one. It happened out of the blue while I was doing the nursery school drop-off one morning. I guess that, just as we didn't realize we had to explain that moving meant not living in the old house again, we also didn't realize that we had to explain that healing from the miscarriage didn't automatically equal pregnancy. Damn.
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no subject
Date: 2008-03-13 05:42 pm (UTC)YUP. And rarely are the names of the countries mentioned - just "Africa", like it is one big country (I actually used to have a tshirt with a map of africa and the words, "Africa is not a country" under it. Looked like ass on me, though). And sometimes African animals are meant to represent the continent. It is pretty horrible.
The impact is pretty great - the number of ADULTS I have met who believe that there are no paved roads below Spain is pretty shocking... or people completely unaware that African countries have universities and technology and skyscrapers and highways. Not everywhere, and not every country - the diversity is pretty astonishing.
I think one way to address it is to have images of how people live in in different countries. There was that book you mentioned awhile back about "how people eat". Aside from the political agenda, I love the idea of photos of normal people in their homes. People living in places like Mali and Rwanda are, in some ways, just like us, and in others, completely different. hard to really get that across without visiting, but we can all try.
my 2 cents
(Gawd, Alex is a clever child...)
no subject
Date: 2008-03-13 07:31 pm (UTC)We've read some African folktales, but she picked up the word "Africa" from an episode of (here's where I lose my crunchy parenting cred) Little Einsteins where the kids went on a safari. So part of what comes next can just be applying the word to contexts she's already aware of - that drum comes from Africa, this is a story about people who live in Africa. Living in such a majority-black city gives us lots of opportunities for cultural context on this one.