Breaking radio silence.

[rivka]

I haven't been posting much to my journal recently. Which is weird, because I've been composing journal entries in my head almost every day. In the past week I have meant to post:

- musings on my identity as a therapist.
- a lightheartedly ranting poll about the awfulness of other drivers.
- a geeky ode of fascination to Reproduction Fabrics.
- a bitter rant about medical billing requirements and governmental accusations of billing fraud.
- a sickly furious response to something lizw linked to.
- a return to my "excavation work" series of posts about unrooting the internal effects of a former relationship.

Why haven't any of these made it to the screen? It's probably the last item on the list, holding things up. Nah, scratch "probably" and replace it with "almost certainly."

trinker pointed out that I've been much visited by the past, lately, in memories and dreams and strange coincidences. At the end of last week, once more my ex re-appeared distressingly in my head. I've been resisting thinking about that episode ever since, but somehow it seems to be bottling up other things I'd like to write about. So I guess it needs to be extracted, like a tooth. Argh. I thought I was done.

Maybe now that I've said this out loud I can write about something else in the meantime. I'm not writing about the ex at work.

Quiet afternoon, followed by a frantically busy morning. Must be awake and alert before the evening, because of Great Big Sea.

[Sidenote: When I decided that I needed to make a series of exploratory entries about my previous relationship, because not everyone wants to read about high-trauma stuff, I created a special friends list for the purpose. If you've joined my friends list since then (or you're lurking) and would like to be put on that list, just let me know. I have some journal creation codes I could give out to lurkers.]

Comments

[wiredferret.livejournal.com]

Can I sign up for some past relationship angst, please?

If you liked that, stay tuned for this ...

[kightp.livejournal.com]

Me, too? (As if I didn't have enough of my own...)

I'm not writing about the ex at work

[mittelbar.livejournal.com]

I can attest to this being a bad idea, generally. Go have some fun!

Re: If you liked that, stay tuned for this ...

[rivka.livejournal.com]

Sure, to both of you. If you want to read the whole saga, go here (http://www.livejournal.com/talkread.bml?itemid=15349509), and here (http://www.livejournal.com/talkread.bml?itemid=16055991), and here (http://www.livejournal.com/talkread.bml?itemid=16724225), and here (http://www.livejournal.com/talkread.bml?itemid=16868235). But, you know, probably not all at once.

Err...

[wiredferret.livejournal.com]

The 'not all at once' bit was probably good advice.

Blink, blink.

[kalmn.livejournal.com]

oooooh. great big sea. mmmmm.

[trinker.livejournal.com]

Hi...I was wondering what was up. I'll assume that tonight's not a good time for a call. Have a good time at GBS! (Huh. I never noticed before that they share initials with George Bernard Shaw.)

And Reproduction Fabrics is stunning.

[sashajwolf.livejournal.com]

a sickly furious response to something lizw linked to

*thinks* The only things I can remember linking to are the place I'm interviewing at on Monday and the multiples' Langdon chart. I'm guessing it's not the law firm site that infuriated you, but if it is the multiples, that does surprise me a little.

Re: If you liked that, stay tuned for this ...

[pixel.livejournal.com]

"Huh, I'm 'not authroized to view those protected entries'. Oh well."

[therealjae.livejournal.com]

Oh, this means you'd be there RIGHT NOW. I'll miss you tonight, but I hope you have a *wonderful* time. What am I saying; I know you will.

hugs

-J

Re: If you liked that, stay tuned for this ...

[rivka.livejournal.com]

You never asked to be put on the special list, so I was sparing you. If you'd like to be, just say the word.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

I'm guessing it's not the law firm site that infuriated you, but if it is the multiples, that does surprise me a little.

Yeah. Multiple Personality Disorder is a hot button issue for me professionally (I'm not going to get into the whole rant here, but essentially there are good reasons to believe that real MPD is vanishingly rare, and that the explosion of cases in the last 25 years is largely due to hysteria, suggestibility, and improper therapeutic techniques) and also personally - particularly the viewpoint reflected in the website, that MPD is not a "disorder" to be critcized or changed, but there's nothing wrong with collecting disability benefits for it.

In case this raises concerns, I should say here that if a client who identified as multiple came to me in therapy, or the issue arose in treatment, I would explain that the case was not one I could competently handle, and refer zir elsewhere. That's the common practice for this kind of button.

[sashajwolf.livejournal.com]

(I'm not going to get into the whole rant here, but essentially there are good reasons to believe that real MPD is vanishingly rare, and that the explosion of cases in the last 25 years is largely due to hysteria, suggestibility, and improper therapeutic techniques)

Specifically as a disorder, that is my impression also, although of course I can't make a professional judgment.

and also personally - particularly the viewpoint reflected in the website, that MPD is not a "disorder" to be critcized or changed, but there's nothing wrong with collecting disability benefits for it.

I have personally met at least two people who found that regarding themselves as multiple enabled them to function better. I was uncomfortable with it at the time, and am currently out of touch with both of them (although there is no casual connection between the two facts as far as I know), but nowadays I would be inclined to take them at their word and accept that in their case, it was not a disorder, but a helpful tool. It was something they felt they had chosen to be rather than an illness that had happened to them.

Benefit fraud is one of my own hot buttons, though, and I do agree with you that if a thing is not viewed as a disorder, it is unethical to make a disability benefit claim for it. I hadn't come across those pages on that particular site.

On the other hand, I also have a certain amount of sympathy for people with conditions that they themselves find perfectly okay, but which aren't accepted in the mainstream. If I were multiple and found, for instance, that the only way I could get a job was to lie to an employer by pretending to be a singleton, but the only way my children and I could survive without my having a job was to lie to the benefits agency about whether or not I believed multiplicity to be a disability, I might just conclude that the latter was the lesser evil (closer to the truth, and less Procrustean). I would feel that I had failed by not succeeding in finding a third option that would allow me to be completely honest *and* look after my family, but I might do it.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

Hi...I was wondering what was up.

Yeah. Avoidance isn't usually on my top three list of coping mechanisms, so I'm not sure why it's come up so powerfully here.

And Reproduction Fabrics is stunning.

Isn't it? And surprisingly cheap - most sites sell reproduction cotton prints for $15/yard and up. I suspect that those companies use more authentic printing techniques. Or maybe it's just that this one is based in Montana, and has no overhead to speak of. At any rate, according to Bill these aren't dramatically more expensive than regular cotton cloth.

I'm thinking of picking period or near-period fabrics for my costume, although I'm leery of selecting something online - not confident enough of the color fidelity. In the 1775-1825 category "Versailles," I like #VS54T best, followed by #VS54G and #VS58G. But I'm not an authenticity Nazi, and I'm also strongly tempted by some fabrics that are later in period: under "Timeless Fabrics," in the "Peace Creek Drygoods" category, the prints called "bramble" and "cornflower." Or the "Robert's Antiques" category, #RA27N. Or... or... or...

[trinker.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Avoidance isn't usually on my top three list of coping mechanisms, so I'm not sure why it's come up so powerfully here.

Is it just in LJ, or in general? (The avoidance.)

And Reproduction Fabrics is stunning.

Isn't it? And surprisingly cheap - most sites sell reproduction cotton prints for $15/yard and up. I suspect that those companies use more authentic printing techniques. Or maybe it's just that this one is based in Montana, and has no overhead to speak of. At any rate, according to Bill these aren't dramatically more expensive than regular cotton cloth.

I noticed those prices, too. Wow!


I'm thinking of picking period or near-period fabrics for my costume, although I'm leery of selecting something online - not confident enough of the color fidelity. In the 1775-1825 category "Versailles," I like #VS54T best, followed by #VS54G and #VS58G. But I'm not an authenticity Nazi, and I'm also strongly tempted by some fabrics that are later in period: under "Timeless Fabrics," in the "Peace Creek Drygoods" category, the prints called "bramble" and "cornflower." Or the "Robert's Antiques" category, #RA27N. Or... or... or...


As discussed elsewhere, I really like the combination of bramble and cornflower! Later tonight, if my computer cooperates, I'll do some trickery in Illustrator so you can see what the juxtapositions look like.

Re:

[rivka.livejournal.com]

Later tonight, if my computer cooperates, I'll do some trickery in Illustrator so you can see what the juxtapositions look like.

Actually they have a "fabric play station" where you can put together different swatches. All squares, though. I imagine you could do better in Illustrator if you were feeling particularly inspired.

[trinker.livejournal.com]

Heh...the illustration snippets from the Amazon.com samples of that historical dress design book you referred to earlier are whispering that they want to play along with the fabric swatches.

Re:

[rivka.livejournal.com]

Ooooh.