Birthday festivities.

[rivka]

Lo, how my parenting principles have crumbled: for Alex's birthday, we got her a pink molded-plastic dollhouse. (Alex: "it has yellow sides, though.")



In my defense, they make lovely wooden dollhouses with beautiful, realistically detailed wooden furniture for children who are much older than Alex. Wooden dollhouses for rampaging three-year-olds tend to have ugly, blockish furnishings. They are also quite expensive.

Harder to defend, on the crumbling-principles front: I allowed my parents to get Alex a (1) molded-plastic toy (2) based on licensed characters (3) which makes noise. A lot of noise. Loud noise.



I'm still kind of kicking myself about this one, because I didn't realize just how obnoxiously loud it was going to be. But Alex loves the Little Einsteins (*sigh*) SO much. And she's so delighted with the toy that she's slept with all four of the hard little plastic figurines for the last two nights. I suspect she'd take the rocket to bed if we let her, and at 3am we'd hear a burst of classical music and a chipper voice shouting, "Now Rocket is flying fast! Allegro!"

Our other present to her was a four-foot-square play dome tent from Ikea. Which is awesome. She expressed some concerns about wolves being able to get in because the door doesn't close, but otherwise she seems to love it.



This morning we had her party. I feel a little embarrassed about how low-key and simple it was (although perhaps I shouldn't) - we just had four friends come over and play with our toys. There was one game (I put on some bouncy kid music and had them dance, and then freeze when I paused the song), but mostly the kids were playing so happily that there seemed to be no reason to disrupt them with organized activity.

acceberskoorb was kind enough to let us borrow a preschool-sized table and chairs from church. When the kids arrived, I had markers and stickers on the table and let them each decorate a brown paper bag with their name on it, which we later put favors in. I served fruit kebobs, cheese and crackers, and homemade chocolate cupcakes with their choice of four Dr. Seussian shades of frosting. And I got an extremely goofy six-compartment Wheel Of Sprinkles at Safeway, and let each kid choose their own cupcake topping. There was juice for the kids and coffee or lemonade for the parents.







All the kids seemed to have fun, but the whole thing went quickly - we had put "10 to 11:30" on the invitation, and the last kids left at 11:15. I hope that doesn't mean that their parents thought it was a lame party. To me it seemed like just the right thing for three-year-olds, but the main other birthday party we've been to this year was held in a gymnastics facility and involved nonstop movement and excitement as professional kid-frenziers whipped the kids into a frenzy. ...Okay. I'm pretty sure this is just my social anxiety speaking here. That does tend to come out every time we entertain.

The other Major Birthday Event: on the morning of her birthday, Alex put her pacifier in an envelope and mailed it off to the baby elephant at the Maryland Zoo. We had suggested this plan of action about a week before her birthday, and given how attached she's been to sleeping with a pacifier I was amazed at how excited she was to go along with it. She had a little trouble falling asleep the first night, but she hasn't said a single word about missing her pacifier. She thinks the baby elephant probably loves it.

Comments

[janetmiles.livejournal.com]

professional kid-frenziers

Oh, dear. I think I've acquired a new phrase.

Overall, I think it sounds like a lovely birthday party and a wonderful birthday.

[kcobweb.livejournal.com]

I think your party sounds perfect. I'm sure Alex had a fabulous time, and that's what counts. I totally refuse to do a themed party or anything with characters, like EVER. Not gonna happen, as far as I'm concerned. Bleh.

Our girls are so big! Yay.

[kcobweb.livejournal.com]

Also! Dollhouse!!!!!!! :)

[elusis.livejournal.com]

I have to say, my mom did themed birthdays for us as kids, and they were amazing.

Themes like frogs (my sister's fifth or sixth?), detectives (my.. ninth maybe?), sea creatures (my sister's... seventh? complete with blue frosted cake), and dress-ups/acting (one of mine but who knows). So, you know, the "frogs" party featured games played with these big rubber frogs mom found somewhere (flipping them out of the wading pool with spatulas, balancing them on your head while walking). The "detective" party had paper footprints leading up to the door, and a magnifying glass cake (homemade), and that memory game where you look at a tray of objects and then some are removed and you have to remember which ones.

But this would be the late 70s/early 80s, and years when we were living on a single young schoolteacher's salary, so they were not fancy by any means. But they were themed, and memorable for sure.

[nex0s.livejournal.com]

Yep - my Mom did something similar for me! I had an Alice in Wonderland themed party (I was Alice and asked my friends to be specific characters because I didn't want two March Hares...) and we set up a long table with extra chairs and teacups, and we'd switch every once in a while. That year I didn't have cake but tea-things instead :) It was great!

But this would be the late 70s/early 80s, and years when we were living on a single young schoolteacher's salary, so they were not fancy by any means. But they were themed, and memorable for sure.


This describes my childhood perfectly :)

N.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

Birthday parties seem to have changed a lot since we were kids. I think this (http://www.birthdayinabox.com/party-themes/) is what kcobweb is thinking of when she says "no themes."

Your mom's parties sound fantastic.

[kcobweb.livejournal.com]

Yup. Have you ended up on the mailing list for any of those party catalogs??? They are nightmarish and scary.

[wcg.livejournal.com]

I'm sure the baby elephant will love it.

Also, the fire truck arrived in today's mail. If it's convenient for you, I can bring it by tomorrow afternoon.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

Well, hm. After church we need to do our grocery shopping. The late afternoon would work, though - around 4, perhaps?

[wcg.livejournal.com]

Sure. 4 would be fine.

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

The "sprinkle your own cupcakes" and the pacifier ideas are among the best ideas I've ever heard. :D

[acceberskoorb.livejournal.com]

You are a genius! The party sounds absolutely perfect and your pacifier solution is inspired!

[janetmiles.livejournal.com]

I have to admit I'm kind of wondering how the zoo people are going to react to receiving a pacifier in the mail.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

I bet they've seen this before. I don't know where I heard the idea, but it certainly wasn't original to me.

I really, really hope that someone at the zoo is kind enough to write her a little note in reply.

[saoba.livejournal.com]

Well, you know, it sounds like you had a party that was appropriate to your guest of honor and her friends. Which is, by my lights, the best kind of party there is.

[aquaeri.livejournal.com]

I'm sure the baby elephant loves the pacifier! How clever.

I know what you mean about social anxiety around parties, but I can't see how social expectations around children's birthdya parties are going to get any less without some "lame" parties.

[green-knight.livejournal.com]

The party sounds perfect. It's supposed to be fun and memorable.

It sounds as if you could, over the range of years, rack up the price of a used car in birthday parties. Ones involving 'professional kid-frenziers' (kid-worriers?) won't be any more memorable or any more fun than the one you've given.

Save the money. Put it into an account for her, if you can, so she can travel to Europe or whatever. And if you can't afford, don't worry: large sums of money spent on children is a bad investment. That's not what makes childhood memories.

[papersky.livejournal.com]

The baby elephant thing is pure genius.

[nex0s.livejournal.com]

Her birthday party sounds great and age appropriate. :) The kids had a good time right? OK then :)

As for crumbling principals... yeah. Oh well. That's what my Mom said about my Barbies, and I turned out OK :) You're a great Mom!

N.

[threeringedmoon.livejournal.com]

Giving the baby elephant your pacifier: so cute.

And I agree with janetmiles, professional kid-frenzier is a classic phrase.

[ailbhe]

In our social circle it's my job to ramp the birthday frenzy DOWN a notch or two. There's an escalating competition of fancy parties ending with the people who give ten pounds worth of goodies to each child in the goodie bag (including infant siblings of the child's real friends!) and then us.

So far, the main thing I've done is to have NO organised activities. It just winds the kids up and makes them harder to handle, because the parents are always here and they get weirdly competitive.

Actually, I should write about this in my own journal, I just wanted to say I'm with you on the simplification thing.

I hope you get a proper response from the zoo. It's the sweetest idea ever - and it wouldn't have worked if she wasn't totally ready for it.

[micheinnz.livejournal.com]

You, Rivka and us against the party-inflation world! Now that Agent Weasel is that bit older and more sophisticated, her birthday parties tend to be lunch out and a movie with a small group of friends. But that's it. And even then that's pushing the boat out -- a couple of years ago we did snacks and cakes at a local playground, which was extremely well-received.

[moeticae.livejournal.com]

Stupid question: what's wrong with the doll house? Looks like it's lighter than the wood equivalent, easier to clean, and more resistant to being chewed on - although that last is more indicative of my kid's level of development than yours, I guess. :)

Moe

[rivka.livejournal.com]

Well, a lot of people have environmental and safety concerns about plastic toys (although I worry less about safety now that she's old enough not to chew on her toys). Molded plastic toys are also usually pretty ugly, so there are aesthetic objections. I definitely prefer the colors and textures and heft of natural materials.

But the big thing for me is that, as a class, big fancy molded-plastic toys tend to have a lot of characteristics that I want to avoid: they make noise, they light up, they're designed to be played with in only one particular way, they tend to provide passive entertainment rather than evoking actively creative play. Essentially, the more the toy provides, the less the kid's imagination gets to provide. I try to avoid toys that do the playing for you.

This dollhouse is not too big an offender in that regard. It does have some pieces of furniture which could light up and make noise if we put batteries in them (we haven't). There are other models of the same dollhouse in which the dolls and furniture and house all have chips in them so that, for example, the mother doll recognizes that she's in the kitchen and talks about cooking. So there's no need, and hardly even an opportunity, for kids to make up their own dollhouse dramas.

Alex has always had plastic toys in her collection, and of course legos are plastic and they're, like, one of the best creativity-enhancing toys in the world. But in a lot of ways, in today's toy market, "molded plastic toys" is shorthand for "toys that do the playing for you," and I really do try to avoid those.

[moeticae.livejournal.com]

As I said, stupid question: I can only plead that my son's favorite toy right now is the small wooden spoon that he alternatively gnaws on and hits hollow things with (kid's a natural drummer, I'm thinking), so I'm not even -at- that level of toyness yet. :)

[txobserver.livejournal.com]

At one of my daughters' long ago fourth birthday a major activity was a parade (through and around our house and yard, tooting, playing and beating on various "instruments".) It was a huge hit, and the mom of one of their peers recently brought it up to me to say her daughter had loved doing that so much that she begged to have it for her birthday, and reminded her mom of it fairly recently.

[mjlayman.livejournal.com]

It sounds like a great party! And by the time she's ready for one of the wooden dollhouses, she'll be ready to let go of the molded plastic one.

[charlottezweb.livejournal.com]

That party sounds like a lot of fun! Royce is also about to turn 3 so we've been thinking about what his party will be like. Haven't decided fully yet, but I like the fruit and cupcake ideas. We may do it at home this year also.

I have to admit we had a Cars theme for his 2nd BD and he loved it. *blush*

But then my BDs were always over the top Halloween themed as I have an Oct BD--we always invited the whole class in costume, turned the house into a haunted house and had all sorts of halloween games.

Oh, and the dollhouse looks awesome--can I ask what kind it is? A dollhouse in on R's BD list as is a kitchen.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

Oh, and the dollhouse looks awesome--can I ask what kind it is?

It's a Fisher Price Loving Family Twin Time dollhouse. They've been making Loving Family dollhouses for a long time, so there are tons of furniture and accessories available on eBay.

[chargirlgenius.livejournal.com]

Rockin’ dino jammies!

Sounds like a great party to me! Ours our usually just excuses for the grown ups to get together and grill, and let the toddlers all entertain each other for the afternoon, with eventual cake, hats, and singing. I’m sure in a few years that won’t fly, but Henry’s birthday is on July 4th, so it’s unlikely we’ll ever be able to have a crowded birthday party anyway. Low key = happiness for all.

We went to chuck-e-cheese for another party recently, and it was HELL. NEVER.

A friend of mine is having a party, and instead of no gifts, she asked everybody to bring one of their old toys to swap, and everybody goes home with something “new”. Sounds like a grand idea to me!

Parties

[hazelchaz]

Toy swap idea - inspired.

I've also heard that an appropriate number of guests is no more than 1 plus the age of the child in years. That rule should help keep the madness down all by itself.

Does she have a wagon yet?

[kip-w.livejournal.com]

I was so glad when Sarah stopped watching the Little Einsteins. In the guise of learning, they managed to trivialize everything. In their hands, for instance, "Ode to Joy" would likely become a pathetic little shortened phrase of music with banal words that they'd repeat over and over. (Did it make Sarah love great music? Oh, yeah. Right after it repealed gravity and made a perpetual motion machine.)

[rivka.livejournal.com]

What I resent most about the Little Einsteins is the idea that, as a parent, I am supposed to appreciate the show for its educational value or believe that it is somehow imparting culture. As if hearing your kid cheer "Kaaaaaandinsky!" means that she's learned something about art.

To the extent that I can get past that, I actually like the show. I like the kinds of adventures and problem-solving they do, although I wish they hadn't decided that the Little Einsteins needed an antagonist in "Big Jet." I like that their world is larger than the typical kids show centered on a suburban backyard. And I like that, for example, we just watched an episode in which they followed a treasure map to find a treasure which turned out to be spider webs with sunlight shining through them.

And, oh, Alex loves it. So. Much. That excuses a lot. So I try to forget that I'm supposed to be patting myself on the back for having her watch such an "improving" show.