OMGWTFBBQ!!!

[rivka]

Alex and I were eating our breakfasts in the living room when suddenly we heard a loud, low buzzing. I looked up towards the sound and saw a wasp bumping off the light fixture. And when I say "wasp," I mean OMGWTFBBQwasp. It was a full two inches long, with a wide body. Until I got a closer look, I thought it might be a cicada somehow. That's how big it was.

I'm trying not to convey my fear of bugs to Alex, but in this case it was impossible not to react with alarm.

I led her out into the dining room and shut the dining room door. I tried to say reassuring things. Then I put on a jacket, buttoned it up to the chin, grabbed the broom, and went back into the living room to do battle.

It was still buzzing around the lights. I turned them off and went through to the playroom, which has a door to the outside. I turned on the playroom lights and opened the door wide. Then I went back to find the wasp.

It had left the now-dark light fixture and was crawling along the back of the couch. I wanted to try to steer it with the broom, but of course I was also worried that if I agitated it at all it would fly at me in a rage and sting me until I died. And the thing definitely looked too big to kill.

I dabbed gently at its back with the broom. Then I got an idea. I put the bristles in front of the wasp. It crawled onto the broom. Moving carefully, keeping the broom level, I walked swiftly to the playroom door and thrust the broom outside. When I set it on the ground, the wasp crawled off and quickly flew away.

OMGWTFBBQ. How did it get in the house?!

Comments

[wcg.livejournal.com]

tactical air-defense network

Raid wasp and hornet killer. It has a 30 foot long tight stream and it's extremely effective.

[curiousangel.livejournal.com]

Given the size she was talking about, I was actually figuring we'd need a missile battery, or something like Skyguard/Nautilus/THEL. With a toddler in the house, we're probably better off with your suggestion, though. :)

[lizardling.livejournal.com]

Just don't use a lighter in conjunction, and scrub off the splashback. :)