rivka: (trust beyond reason)
[personal profile] rivka
I'm 17 weeks pregnant today. According to babycenter.com, the Niblet is about the size of a turnip and its cartilage is starting to harden into bone.

Assuming, um, that NBHHY. I had some more spotting over the weekend, on Friday and Saturday - each time, a few drops of bright red blood. I called the midwife, who pretty much said that this is the new normal for me with this pregnancy and that I need to try not to worry about bleeding unless it's a steady flow and/or it's accompanied by rhythmic cramping.

Of course, if I wait to worry until then, it's too late - right? Whereas worrying earlier on, as we all know, is tremendously productive.

I spent Friday night and Saturday feeling doomed. I don't know, I still feel a little doomed even though my rational mind tells me that if I were to start miscarrying at a rate of three drops of blood per day I would make it all the way to my due date and be fine. But I just... yeah. I can't take this stress. And just to twist the knife a little more, I know that prenatal exposure to stress hormones isn't the best thing in the world for the Niblet.

It would really help if either (a) I stopped being able to fit into my prepregnancy jeans, or (b) I felt fetal movement. So far that's a no on either one. I'm starting to have a little bit more of a pregnant shape (beyond the Rack of Doom, I mean), and my belly feels more solid, but I haven't gained any weight and I haven't had to start wearing maternity pants. I thought subsequent pregnancies were supposed to show earlier.

Seventeen weeks is kind of early for quickening, I guess. I remember going in for the anatomical ultrasound about this time in my pregnancy with Alex and being amazed to see all those vigorous flips and rolls that I couldn't feel at all. And with my placenta anterior, it makes even more sense that I can't feel anything. But still. It would be nice of the Niblet to oblige me.

At this point in my pregnancy with Alex I was in severe pain because my round ligaments - the rubber bands that hold up the burgeoning uterus - were attached to scar tissue and pulling at adhesions as my uterus grew. I wondered if there would be a recurrence of that pain, but the physical therapy I had to break up the adhesions seems to have fixed the problem entirely. Instead, I am experiencing normal round ligament pain for the first time. When I move suddenly - especially if I am, say, standing up from a chair and twisting to change position at the same time - I get shooting pains in my lower belly. So even though I'm not showing yet, my uterus is demanding to be treated as an entity that cannot be jerked around. By necessity, I am starting to move more like a pregnant woman.

Anatomical ultrasound is next week. I have a strong sense, based on nothing in particular, that the Niblet will be a boy. Possible names: Colin for a boy, or maybe Brennan; Avery or Anya for a girl. Randolph as the middle name in either case, after my father-in-law. I am steadfastly refusing to think of Randolph Fritz.

Date: 2008-09-02 05:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ex-serenejo.livejournal.com
May nothing bad continue to happen. I hope that in this worry, you also have room for some squeeing, because, hey, exciting!

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