Go, church! Go, us!

[rivka]

It went well.

curiousangel posted a nice summary of the meeting here. The first few minutes were horribly awkward, but once we got into it we had a lovely conversation. He'd heard of polyamory, but didn't really know anything about it, and hadn't met any poly folk before. He was interested and receptive, and seemed impressed with the diligence with which we'd thought things out. We were all on very firm ground together, talking about the importance of honesty and respect and caring and mutual support in ethical relationships.

We talked about our intentions toward the congregation - that we don't want to make a big speech or do advocacy, but that we don't intend to hide the fact that we're poly. He agreed that it was sensible to approach it person by person, as things came up. He did want to be sure we knew that not everyone would be supportive, and - he's a pretty subtle guy, but I think this is what he was saying - that if we chose to recruit partners from within the congregation we'd need to be open enough about poly that it wouldn't look like cheating, and thus create congregational drama. In all, he was supportive in a moderate sort of way. He's not going to run to man the poly barricades - he said something about, "at this point, I don't think this is a social justice issue" - but he's not going to stand idly by and let us be hounded out of the congregation if people get indignant about our sex lives.

And he said: "I'm really glad you came and talked to me about this, because I might have unwittingly said something that would have been hurtful." Which, you know, was exactly why we went.

It was good. I'm proud of us, and of him, and of the whole darned Unitarian faith.

Comments

[kightp.livejournal.com]

Score one for people living up to their standards - all three of you!

It would be interesting to hear whether this shapes his sermon in any way - let us know, ok?

[therealjae.livejournal.com]

Here's to honesty, openness, and tolerance. On all three of your parts.

-J

[elisem.livejournal.com]

Oh, excellent!

[jenett]

Woo! How incredibly cool a situation. For all of you.

[jinian.livejournal.com]

I'm kinda proud of you, too, not that I have any right to be. :) Good going, you two, and good going, him.

[k-crow.livejournal.com]

Cool! Glad to hear it worked out so well. Definitely proud of you for pursuing this, and him for being so open to what you had to say. Unitarians rock. :)