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I go back to work on Wednesday. I'll be working three days a week; that represents a 20% reduction in official hours plus eight hours a week working from home.
We've hired a nanny, a 30-year-old psych major named Beth who seems very nice, gets glowing reviews, appears to get our parenting style, and has 11 years of experience. Starting in June, Alex will come home from school at lunchtime and be with Colin and the nanny (or Colin and me, on Fridays) in the afternoons. She'll still have her Wednesdays entirely at home.
This part is really hard. What makes it even harder with Colin than it was four years ago with Alex is the whole nursing-and-pumping issue. I don't know if I'll be able to pump enough milk. I don't know what "enough" is, even, because although Colin has practiced drinking from a bottle he has never had a full feeding that way, so I don't know how much he'll take or how long it will last him.
Fun times.
As I did when I first left Alex with a nanny, I've made up a short field guide to my kids - one page per kid, plus extras about Alex's diet. Boy, it's all a lot more complicated when there's a 4-year-old involved. It's posted under the cut in case you're curious or have feedback.
Colin Nutt Date of birth: 2/9/09
Important numbers:
(Mom at work, Mom's cell, same for Dad, pediatrician, emergency, our house address & phone)
Health: Colin has no ongoing health problems. Please do not give him medicine of any kind, including baby Tylenol, unless expressly directed by us or his doctor.
Shield his skin from direct sunlight. He is too young for sunscreen.
Routine: Colin doesn’t yet have a predictable daily rhythm, although he is starting to fall into a pattern of awake-alert time, then feeding, then sleep.
Colin is fed on demand. He eats breastmilk only. I will leave three prepared bottles per day, and more milk is in the freezer in case he is unusually hungry or something happens to a prepared bottle. Bottles should be heated by placing them in hot water, and frozen milk can be thawed the same way. Shake to mix in fat before feeding. Do not microwave milk or heat over stove burner.
He naps in arms, in the swing, or in the pack-n-play. If it’s not too hot, he will sleep better if swaddled first. Never leave him to "cry it out."
Colin likes being held, lying on a blanket on the floor, his swing, being worn in the sling while you walk somewhere, and being sung to. He will sometimes take a pacifier, but not often. His toys are in a basket on or under the coffee table.
Where to find:
Bath supplies: bathroom at top of stairs. Liquid soap on floor next to tub. Bath thermometer is the crab-shaped toy. Colin’s washcloth & towel on back of the door.
Feeding supplies: Full bottles in fridge, extra bottles to left of sink. Frozen milk in plastic bags in white freezer container. Burp cloths (cloth diapers) in storage tower in playroom.
Changing supplies: Changing station in playroom. Clothes in storage tower. Extra diapers & wipes behind the pack-n-play. Balmex if bottom looks red or sore, on lamp table in playroom.
Health care supplies: Rectal thermometer with lubricant, saline and nasal aspirator, and nail clippers in mesh pockets of diaper bag.
Where to leave:
Empty bottles: Rinse well and leave next to kitchen sink, or wash if you have time.
Dirty laundry: Leave on floor by basement door. Washer and dryer are in the basement in case you have an emergency need to wash clothes.
Alex Wald Date of birth: 4/11/05
Important numbers: (enumerated just as for Colin)
Health: Alex must wear sunscreen when outside for more than 5-10 minutes. Her sunscreen is in the living room under the TV. She must wear a helmet and knee and elbow pads to ride her scooter outside.
Routine: Alex currently goes to nursery school MTThF from 9-5. Beginning in June she will be at nursery school from 9-1, eating lunch there. She does not nap. She is mostly independent in the bathroom.
Alex loves imaginative play, art projects, stories, math & science, asking questions, board and card games, and digging in the garden.
Diet: Alex is a picky eater. With breakfast, lunch, and snacks we give her options to choose from. At dinner we have a set menu and she can have a piece of deli meat or bread and butter if she doesn’t like what is served. We try not to pressure her to eat. If breakfast or lunch is essentially untouched, put it in the fridge for later hunger. Otherwise she can have healthy snacks whenever she likes and a sweet snack or dessert (cookies, sweetened yogurt) once in the afternoon. A suggested meal and snack list is posted on the fridge; use your judgment.
Media: Under normal circumstances Alex can watch one show per day. She has a few shows on the TiVO and several videos on top of or to the right of the TV. She usually likes to watch her show during breakfast. She will soon be getting a computer – until then, computer time must be supervised by us only, because it happens on our computers.
Discipline: Physical punishment and shaming language may never be used. We also do not use time out as a punishment at home, although she is familiar with it from school. Techniques we use:
We've hired a nanny, a 30-year-old psych major named Beth who seems very nice, gets glowing reviews, appears to get our parenting style, and has 11 years of experience. Starting in June, Alex will come home from school at lunchtime and be with Colin and the nanny (or Colin and me, on Fridays) in the afternoons. She'll still have her Wednesdays entirely at home.
This part is really hard. What makes it even harder with Colin than it was four years ago with Alex is the whole nursing-and-pumping issue. I don't know if I'll be able to pump enough milk. I don't know what "enough" is, even, because although Colin has practiced drinking from a bottle he has never had a full feeding that way, so I don't know how much he'll take or how long it will last him.
Fun times.
As I did when I first left Alex with a nanny, I've made up a short field guide to my kids - one page per kid, plus extras about Alex's diet. Boy, it's all a lot more complicated when there's a 4-year-old involved. It's posted under the cut in case you're curious or have feedback.
Colin Nutt Date of birth: 2/9/09
Important numbers:
(Mom at work, Mom's cell, same for Dad, pediatrician, emergency, our house address & phone)
Health: Colin has no ongoing health problems. Please do not give him medicine of any kind, including baby Tylenol, unless expressly directed by us or his doctor.
Shield his skin from direct sunlight. He is too young for sunscreen.
Routine: Colin doesn’t yet have a predictable daily rhythm, although he is starting to fall into a pattern of awake-alert time, then feeding, then sleep.
Colin is fed on demand. He eats breastmilk only. I will leave three prepared bottles per day, and more milk is in the freezer in case he is unusually hungry or something happens to a prepared bottle. Bottles should be heated by placing them in hot water, and frozen milk can be thawed the same way. Shake to mix in fat before feeding. Do not microwave milk or heat over stove burner.
He naps in arms, in the swing, or in the pack-n-play. If it’s not too hot, he will sleep better if swaddled first. Never leave him to "cry it out."
Colin likes being held, lying on a blanket on the floor, his swing, being worn in the sling while you walk somewhere, and being sung to. He will sometimes take a pacifier, but not often. His toys are in a basket on or under the coffee table.
Where to find:
Bath supplies: bathroom at top of stairs. Liquid soap on floor next to tub. Bath thermometer is the crab-shaped toy. Colin’s washcloth & towel on back of the door.
Feeding supplies: Full bottles in fridge, extra bottles to left of sink. Frozen milk in plastic bags in white freezer container. Burp cloths (cloth diapers) in storage tower in playroom.
Changing supplies: Changing station in playroom. Clothes in storage tower. Extra diapers & wipes behind the pack-n-play. Balmex if bottom looks red or sore, on lamp table in playroom.
Health care supplies: Rectal thermometer with lubricant, saline and nasal aspirator, and nail clippers in mesh pockets of diaper bag.
Where to leave:
Empty bottles: Rinse well and leave next to kitchen sink, or wash if you have time.
Dirty laundry: Leave on floor by basement door. Washer and dryer are in the basement in case you have an emergency need to wash clothes.
Alex Wald Date of birth: 4/11/05
Important numbers: (enumerated just as for Colin)
Health: Alex must wear sunscreen when outside for more than 5-10 minutes. Her sunscreen is in the living room under the TV. She must wear a helmet and knee and elbow pads to ride her scooter outside.
Routine: Alex currently goes to nursery school MTThF from 9-5. Beginning in June she will be at nursery school from 9-1, eating lunch there. She does not nap. She is mostly independent in the bathroom.
Alex loves imaginative play, art projects, stories, math & science, asking questions, board and card games, and digging in the garden.
Diet: Alex is a picky eater. With breakfast, lunch, and snacks we give her options to choose from. At dinner we have a set menu and she can have a piece of deli meat or bread and butter if she doesn’t like what is served. We try not to pressure her to eat. If breakfast or lunch is essentially untouched, put it in the fridge for later hunger. Otherwise she can have healthy snacks whenever she likes and a sweet snack or dessert (cookies, sweetened yogurt) once in the afternoon. A suggested meal and snack list is posted on the fridge; use your judgment.
Media: Under normal circumstances Alex can watch one show per day. She has a few shows on the TiVO and several videos on top of or to the right of the TV. She usually likes to watch her show during breakfast. She will soon be getting a computer – until then, computer time must be supervised by us only, because it happens on our computers.
Discipline: Physical punishment and shaming language may never be used. We also do not use time out as a punishment at home, although she is familiar with it from school. Techniques we use:
- Be very clear about behavioral expectations, especially before an outing.
- Be playful – challenge her to a race if she is dawdling, make cleanup a game.
- Remove problem items, such as thrown toys or misused crayons.
- Assist compliance – instead of repeatedly asking her to do something, go get her and help her through the motions.
- Explain logical consequences: if she doesn’t put on shoes, she’ll have to stay in. If she makes a mess, she will have to clean it up.
- Be willing to negotiate small things, like 2 min vs. 5 min more at the playground.
- For tantrums, be firm but sympathetic. If she is struggling with a lot of tantrums, suggest that she take some time in her room to cool off. (Not as a punishment.)
- Withdraw attention from obnoxious/provocative behavior, by leaving the room if necessary.
- If she is defiant and oppositional on an outing, end the outing immediately.
Lunch ideas for Alex
Annie’s mac and cheese (look to see if some is already in fridge)
Hot dogs
Deli ham or turkey and crackers
Scrambled eggs
Peanut butter and jelly sandwich cut into shapes
Bagel and cream cheese with smoked salmon
Snack ideas for Alex:
Crackers with peanut butter
Carrot and celery sticks
Fruit
Bread and butter
Popcorn
Crackers or pretzels
Slice of deli meat
Yogurt (only once a day)
Two cookies (only once a day)
Drinks:
Alex likes “milkshakes” which are ½ chocolate milk, ½ white milk. She drinks whole milk (red carton).
Dilute apple juice 50% with water.
House rules about food:
Alex may eat in the dining room, at her tray in the living room, or at her art table in the playroom. No food or drinks on the living room couch; it’s new.
Drinks not consumed at the dining room table must be in a covered straw cup.
If she requests a certain meal, she may not change her mind and get something different after you’ve started preparing it.
She does not have to clean her plate or try some of everything or otherwise eat food she does not want. However, a child who is too full to eat more than a bite or two of lunch is too full for dessert.
Re: Pumping and feeding...things no one tells you!
Re: Pumping and feeding...things no one tells you!
"Here are a few things that come to mind--please let me know if you want more information.
I don't think most babies / mamas will face these challenges, at least not most of them, but we did and I wasn't really prepared for them.
-Milk going "bad": Some women have a chemical (or more of it) in their milk that makes it go bad very quickly. Almost none of the milk I froze was usable. My freshly pumped milk is only good for about a day refrigerated. I knew that I might not be able to pump enough, but thought I could use the frozen milk for a while. I knew of this possibility (I had read about it on kellymom, but didn't really plan for it.
-Once I realized I couldn't pump enough, we started on 1/2 formula, 1/2 breast milk, but she rejected at first. It took quite a while for her to be willing to take straight formula, which she will now gulp down.
-The first day care she was at couldn't get her to eat much. The first week I wasn't too worried, but by the second week, it was problematic. She is not a big baby and in fact started to see a drop-off in her weight gain.
-I started pumping 3 times a day, plus feeding her at lunch in order to get more milk. I am lucky that I can usually just pump in my office and have lots of flexibility in my job, so this was possible--otherwise I would not have been able to get enough milk when she was refusing the formula.
-Knowing when to feed the baby. You probably won't have the issue since you have a nanny, but it was very hard at the daycare for them to figure out when to feed her. With breastfeeding, you have so much more freedom to try it if you think she might be hungry. But with limited bottle supplies, you risk it spoiling. (After her first month at a center, we switched to a home care provider and many of the problems were fixed.)
-Trying to figure out how much to put in each bottle. Sometimes she would eat what was in the bottle and then be done--she wouldn't take a second bottle right away. So I was trying to offer her breast milk in its own bottle, because it doesn't spoil as quickly as formula once the baby has started eating, but then sometimes I don't think she was getting enough. Looking back, I think I was probably too focused on trying not to waste breast milk.
-Looking at photos of her seemed to help with the pumping--also trying to stay relaxed.
-The power went out once and I didn't have batteries for the pack. Fortunately it came on after about an hour. I would left work if I had to in order to pump--I live only 10 minutes away, so not so bad for me.
I am sure there was more, but that is what comes to mind now. I assume you are asking because you are in a similar situation--good luck and feel free to ask any follow-up questions!
Best, Fawn"