(no subject)

[rivka]

Tonight Alex cried her eyes out because Edouard Laboulaye is dead.

We've been reading Lady Liberty: A Biography, which tells the story of the Statue of Liberty's conception, construction, financing, and installation in a series of first-person narratives. Laboulaye was a 19th-century French university professor who first had the idea that the French should comemmorate America's hundredth birthday with a monument.

There's a line towards the end where Bartholdi, the statue's sculptor, says he's sorry that Laboulaye didn't live to see their dream realized. Alex asked me why Laboulaye didn't live to see it, and I told her that he died while they were building the statue.

She burst into noisy sobs. "Ohhhhh, I'm so sad!"

"What's wrong?"

"I'm so sad that Laboulaye is DEAD!"

I thought she was putting me on, but genuine tears were pouring down her face. I made the mistake of trying to reason with her.

"But honey, the people in this book lived a very long time ago. More than a hundred years ago."

"Are..." her voice quavered. "Are most of them still alive?"

"No. They lived such a long long time ago that they're all dead now."

More howling sobs.

"Alex, most of them lived long lives, and they were so proud to see the statue they made. And the Statue of Liberty is still here, and people will always remember them when they see her."

"But I wanted to HUG them." She collapsed on the bed, still crying. "I never got to know them! I don't even REMEMBER them!"

It took forever to calm her down. It really seemed like genuine grief.

Comments

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

I have that, too. The whole "time" thing just really sucks. The idea that there exist points in time -- in fact, the vast, vast MAJORITY of time -- in which I don't exist. . . weirds me out.

[carbonel]

I was only a few years older than Alex when I cried because Helen Keller and Annie Sullivan were both dead.

[wanderingaengus.livejournal.com]

That's sweet and horrible and wonderful.

It reminds me of a different sort of situation: The time I came home from school and found my big sister sobbing on the telephone. My sister (who was about 15 at the time) was incoherent with grief. All I could think was that something had happened to our mom. When she could finally get words out, I learned that she was on the phone with her best friend, and they were both crying because they'd realized that they were too young and there was no way any of the Beatles would ever marry them.

[ckd]

And yet, Heather Mills was born after Magical Mystery Tour was released.

[wanderingaengus.livejournal.com]

My sister was born around the time of Help!, but it's hard to be that patient when you're 15.

[msagara.livejournal.com]

My son did this when he was slightly older, as well (different history, same horrified response).

Also, both of my sons were very, very put out when they saw our old wedding pictures and realized that they hadn't been invited. Because they did, in fact, recognize all our friends.

It took a while to explain to them that they hadn't actually existed at that time =/

[ljgeoff.livejournal.com]

Yep, my son had this reaction when we told him stories about his great-grandparents. I think that if we'd told him that they were dead before we told the stories, he'd have been okay with it. Maybe.

[raincitygirl.livejournal.com]

I think that's pretty normal actually. Odd, but normal. My mom claims that when I was five, I went into a deep depression about the Pied Piper of Hamelin and took days to get over it. Little kids feel things pretty intensely, and may have a hard time distinguishing reality from fiction.

[aloha-moira.livejournal.com]

Agreed. I was sent into paroxysms of grief over one Raffi song about a mama duck who one by one loses all her baby ducks (one of those backwards counting songs) - the baby ducks all come back in the end, of course, but this was no consolation. Poor duckies!

[tea-dragon.livejournal.com]

Yes! That song still makes me cry, even though I know the little ducks are going to be ok- poor mama duck!

[azurelunatic]

You too?

To this day, there is still no convincing me that "over the hills and far away" is not a metaphor for death, and being reunited with one's loved ones after death.

[treadpath.livejournal.com]

Aww! She is so kind and sweet!!! :D

[txanne.livejournal.com]

I still do that, sometimes, though rarely to the point of tears. In no particular order, my maternal grandmother, the troubadour I did my master's on, Shakespeare, certain friends' parents....

[ex-serenejo.livejournal.com]

That is the cutest/saddest/sweetest thing ever. She's such a great kid. I'm sorry for the trauma, but gosh, I like this kid.

[ailbhe]

Oh, poor Alex!

[nex0s.livejournal.com]

Aw, poor thing. It's hard to learn that the people from the past are dead :(

I remember bursting into tears at the age of 15 or so about something similar. I was reading my history text and totally caught up in it, and reading about Bobby Kennedy's speech, and was totally taken off guard when they said, "and he dismounted the steps and was shot dead."

I just burst into tears and my Mom came running in and asked me what the matter was and I sobbed, "They killed Bobby Kennedy!" and she tried really hard not to laugh, and said, "Oh, I know sweetie."

I had had a lot of experience with death at that point (lost 2 grandparents and 2 cousins at that point and was about to give my first eulogy), and it still upset me.

N.

[papersky.livejournal.com]

There's an embarrassing family story about me being taken to St David's cathedral as a little kid and being shown the tomb of Gerald of Wales and bursting into inconsolable tears because I hadn't known he was dead. I was three or four and I don't remember this, but I have been told it lots of times by reliable witnesses.

I had an illustrated book of Gerald's "Travels Through Wales", which I do remember. He died in 1223...

I think the reality of death, that we must all die, that people who wrote books we like and built statues we like have died already and before we could ever know them, is something worth grieving for.

And Laboulaye and Gerald are worth mourning even now.

Death sucks.

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

Well, I think it was genuine grief. She was just learning to love some new people by hearing their story, and they were, in that moment, perfectly real to her, and then suddenly (from her perspective) they were snatched away, and dead.

I think the difference is that we folks in the strange world of adults have gained enough perspective that we're used to this, and kind of hold back our feelings of "Oh, I just want to run up and give this person a hug!" until we're sure the person actually exists and is alive.

[faxpaladin.livejournal.com]

I have this sudden vision of a little girl who races out of time windows, gives hugs to historical figures, runs back in, and vanishes...

[rivka.livejournal.com]

I like that idea. If it doesn't seem like the moment has totally gone by, I may tell her a story about that.

[almeda.livejournal.com]

I have a friend who was permanently soured on all Anne McCaffrey's work because the first Pern book he read was Moreta, Dragonlady of Pern, and he didn't know ahead of time how it was supposed to come out. He was visualizing a whole series of books about Moreta's kids with that Holder guy, and then suddenly WHAM. He says she betrayed him.

[wcg.livejournal.com]

She's such a sweet child.

[saffroncisco.livejournal.com]

This is a beautiful story. As gifted as she is, it's not surprising that she has that kind of sensitivity. I hope she holds onto it. It will make her life harder from time to time, but it also makes her wonderful.