(no subject)

[rivka]

I did something dumb.

I missed my Prozac a couple of days in a row. That was careless. This is the dumb part: then I decided that since I hadn't had a bad reaction to missing a couple of days, maybe I could just come off it.

Yes, I can sense the look you're all giving your computer screens right now. Michael delivered the same look in person, trust me.

Today I finally realized that, um, being off the Prozac might have something to do with how short my fuse is these days, and how much current life events are filling me with dread.

Yeah, that ol' Ph.D. in clinical psychology is serving me really well.

I wasn't going to say anything in my LJ about it, but I am trying to be publicly honest about this whole process in case it can help someone else.

Comments

[jerusha.livejournal.com]

Your recognition, however belated, of how short your fuse has become, reminds me of my self-screening test for whether I'm being hypersensitive or something really is genuinely upsetting: If it's just one, or a few, situations, it probably really is them. If I feel like everyone on the entire planet is conspiring to piss me off (hurt my feelings, etc) all at the same time? Yeah, that's me, and I should do something about walking around like a giant bundle of naked nerve endings. Like taking my meds. Or, the current problem, getting some bleeping sleep. [Yes, sleeping 23 hours over three nights does average out close to a nice sane 8 hrs/night. However, I really should try to arrange it more like 8/8/8, rather than 5/16/2. This will affect my mood and thought clarity, no matter how staunchly I try to believe otherwise.]

(ETA: It will also affect my ability to correctly hand-format HTML.)

[micheinnz.livejournal.com]

Yup. That's my test for whether I've run out of spoons: if the world is suddenly full of idiots, I'm having an Out of Spoon Error.

[matthewwdaly.livejournal.com]

You're not alone. I do the same thing (except with Celexa). I'm just a layman, but I don't think there's anything dumb about wondering if you have grown capable of coping without medical intervention once every few years. I'm sorry that it didn't work out, and I'm relieved that there is a ready treatment for the dread.

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

Don't forget: that's what the disease DOES. That's why it's so damn pernicious.

[beaq.livejournal.com]

Haha! Umyeah.

Frustrating: when I go off one thing or another, I say to myself, self: note that you are going off a thing, and that it will very likely affect your mood and behavior. Three days later, I forget. Four to five days later, the change manifests in full. I rely a lot on other people's feedback.

Learning opportunities are cyclical. Unfortunately, the cycles are longer than my attention span.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

Learning opportunities are cyclical. Unfortunately, the cycles are longer than my attention span.

*snicker* Yeah, me too.

[erin-c-1978.livejournal.com]

Ho boy. Yeah, been there, done that, went to the doctor three weeks later because I was back in the bottomless pit. I wonder how many folks on antidepressants have done the same thing?

[ratphooey.livejournal.com]

Lots. Me, too.

[marith.livejournal.com]

Me three. I keep the cycle (http://www.idiom.com/~marith/images/marith-cycle.jpg) on my fridge as a reminder, but nothing's foolproof.

Figuring it out and fixing the problem after only a couple of days is pretty good in my book. Go Team Rivka!

[irismoonlight.livejournal.com]

You did something human and in this culture, hardly unexpected. We're supposed to get off pills as soon as we can. Ongoing medication for illnesses is a sign of weakness, both in morals and self-discipline.

Which is a crock of horseshit, but it's amazing how difficult it can be to pull those roots out of one's psyche.

[marydell.livejournal.com]

I'm glad the correlation clicked with you. It's tough to know how or if to go off or on a maintenance med or practice. I generally have a couple of my bravest loved ones watch my behavior and tell me if it changes. Right now I'm on a hormone thing that can lead to moodiness & anger, and since I'm moody to begin with, my poor husband is having to go "so, do you think this crappy mood you're in right now is normal, or is it maybe from the drug?"

I think the key is having that other person who can help track the situation, but it's hard to do things that way if you're really hoping the situation will just go away. FWIW, it's really ok to need Prozac.

[trope.livejournal.com]

Oooh, been there, done that. More than a couple times. You know how to wean off meds, if that's something you want to do. I know how to wean. But there's still that little voice in my head that occasionally says, "Why don't you just not take it today?" For me, that voice almost always comes at the end of the summer. One year I made it almost three weeks, and then I hit the time change. That was a bad winter.

Hang in there--you know, too, that it takes a week or two to "even out" after you've skipped doses. And PhD or no, you are under no obligation to clinically manage yourself. That's someone else's job.

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

Prozac is trickier than most drugs in this respect, IIRC... doesn't it have a half-life of several days? So, be easy on yourself. But, SSRIs also can have some funny effects when you're going off of them, and you should definitely taper off when you're ready.

[baratron.livejournal.com]

Yeah, there's nothing quite like that "Not only have I done something stupid, it's something that my education should have taught me not to do" moment :X

Hope you feel better soon!

[janetmiles.livejournal.com]

Been there, done that, more than once.

[chargirlgenius.livejournal.com]

I really do appreciate you sharing this stuff when so many other people in my world casually refer to any sort of chemical therapy as a weakness, or an excuse for laziness, or an antidote for bad parenting. ::angry at them:: Thank you. It does matter.

[duane-kc.livejournal.com]

Y'know what they say about a man who is his own lawyer having a fool for a client?

So it is with self-diagnosing psychiatric issues. :)

Hope you feel better soon.

[patgreene.livejournal.com]

As a person who accidentally and stupidly let not one but *three* psych meds lapse this week, all at the same time... Um, yeah. I understand this one. And the "Hey, I've gone three days and I'm okay... " feeling.

I'm taking a DBT class that requires us to do mood tracking. It helps (when I remember to do it) to act as a cross check between "missed meds" and mood issues.

[fairoriana.livejournal.com]

I have little to offer in the way of advice, but I do want to offer my support. I'm thinking of you, and hoping that you end up in a good place to enjoy your life.

[kalmn.livejournal.com]

ooooh, i've done that. with various meds. doh.

[micheinnz.livejournal.com]

Oooh, scary. Glad you caught it so quickly!