(no subject)

[rivka]

Our Director of Religious Education posted this yesterday:

One of our little guys at church has begun walking. This morning in worship during "greet your neighbor" I went over to see the kids who were hanging out at the children’s corner. I saw him let go of the table and I squatted down and put my arms out. He toddled right over to me and gave me a hug. He’s a snuggly little guy and when he hugs, he tilts his head and puts it on my shoulder like he’s settling in for a long winter’s nap.

The almost-eight-year-old twins from another family were also hanging out at the coloring table and they came over immediately to give me the good news: "He can walk!" They were proud of him, recognizing the accomplishment with both joy and reverence. He let go of me and did a couple more laps, moving like a pin-ball between the kids and adults who were taking in his success with love and admiration. When he fell, one of the twins helped him back up. When he reached a boundary and turned himself around, he looked up at all the loving faces and beamed.

Sometimes church is magic.

The little guy in question is Colin. The twins were in our Christmas pageant this year, and they are a prime counter-example to everything society tells us about boys "naturally" being rough, rude, and non-nurturing. They're active, exuberant kids and they're definitely not goody-goody - but they love on Colin with sweetness and gentleness every time they see him. A lot of the bigger boys at church do. It gives me so much hope about the kind of men they'll grow up to be.

This community is something I value beyond measure. I am so grateful to be bringing up my kids in this love.

Comments

[kiya]

This post reminded me that I have been seriously looking into evaluating and probably joining a UU congregation, because I am seriously feeling a lack of particularly religious community, and I think UU might well work for me and my family.

There's a Welcoming congregation ten minutes from here that looks promising (of course, here in MA there are many UU congregations).

Do you have any advice on that front?

[rivka.livejournal.com]

Yes. The most important piece of advice I can give you is that UU congregations are very different from each other. If you don't like the first one you go to, try another one - it's likely to have an entirely different feel.

In particular: many UU congregations are Pagan-friendly, but some have a stick up their butt about it, not for the reasons you'd think but because they prize "rationality" and think that Pagan religions and magic are outmoded superstitions. The presence of a CUUPS group (Covenant of UU Pagans) is a good sign, although its absence does not mean a Pagan-unfriendly congregation. (We don't have one.)

Some UU congregations have a very strong tradition of atheism/humanism. Going to these churches can be like attending a comparative religion lecture. Others are more open to using spiritual language, with the understanding that people in the congregation have differing beliefs. These might incorporate more ritual in their services.

So try a couple of churches, and see where you click. UU community is awesome.

[kiya]

I did a search on Welcoming congregations in my area and had a look at their websites. The one I am most pleased with is this one - which not only mentions pagan members on the website but has a senior minister with a background written in a manner both funny and reassuring (and apprenticed to a curandera, which is awfully neat). Also they have notes something like "if you're bringing a live bunny to the Easter service please let us know in advance", which I find hilarious.

The other local Welcoming congregation comes across as much stuffier and also states that they're mostly a Christian/Jewish congregation.

The localest CUUPS isn't affiliated with that church, and falls into the failure state of most CUUPS as far as I'm concerned - it appears to be something vaguely Wiccish and ill-defined, neither of which I am.

If the Bedford one doesn't work out, I may wind up trying one further away, where a friend of mine grew up. (Which church I first met because they let us hold a LARP in their basement.)

[ratphooey.livejournal.com]

Now, see, that's what organized religion is supposed to be.

[acceberskoorb.livejournal.com]

hear hear!

One note that I didn't get into in my post is that there is actually a really important commonality between the twins and Colin, which is that they come to church nearly every week. In my 15 years working in Religious Education programs in UU churches I have learned that the families who get the most out of church—the ones for whom the community really does become what they want it to—are the families who attend regularly. I know it can sound self serving for church staff like me to push attendance, but I simply cannot stress enough what a difference it makes. The parents who bring their kids to church often enough for them to have the opportunity to form connections and make friends are giving a gift to their kids that simply cannot be replicated.

Colin is a lucky little guy and is learning a kind of love that he'll be able to give back all the years of his life, a practice he has already begun.

[ailbhe]

We definitely get a lot more out of Meeting when we're well enough to go consistently, all of us.

[ailbhe]

I was so disappointed that our only UU near here was adults-only. But the Quakers seem a good fit for us, at least our local ones.