(no subject)

[rivka]

My parents were diligent and responsible, plus I had two older sisters and an extensive reading habit. So, long before my first period arrived, I had a very good biological and practical understanding of what was involved.

But I can still remember, that first day, my feeling of outrage as the reality sunk in: "Really? Every month from now on, this?! Are you kidding me? What a lousy way to organize a species!"

Then, for eighteen years or so, it did happen every month, and it was just... normal. Inconvenient, but normal. It stopped when I was pregnant with Alex, but because I stopped nursing her so early it was back by four months postpartum. That wasn't long enough to lose my sense of "normal."

But Colin nurses like a fiend, and when my period arrived yesterday it was one month shy of two solid years since the previous one. And that one was one of only two or three that I had after I miscarried; then add in my second pregnancy as well.

So, at age 36, I find that I've lost my sense of "normal" again. I'm sitting here thinking "Are you kidding me with this? Why do we do this?! No, I know about the uterine lining, but really, people, what the hell?"

Comments

[chargirlgenius.livejournal.com]

Ugh. Not to mention it being WAY worse (for me, anyway) those first few months back on.

[tassie-gal.livejournal.com]

Its the womans reproductive system that makes me suspect the higher power that designed us is male.

[oursin.livejournal.com]

It makes me suspect that even if the Design was Intelligent to begin with, they got in a load of cowboy workmen* to implement it...

*UK-English term for people professing a manual trade such as plumbing, building, etc, who have neither the relevant qualifications nor any natural aptitude, and will charge you a bomb for making the situation, whatever it is, worse.

[sioneva.livejournal.com]

This.

Add in the PCOS uber-heavy bit and, even though my Mirena kills my sex drive and leaves me with intermittent, unpredictable, and annoying spotting, and it's STILL a huge struggle to decide whether or not I want to go back to "normal" (13-day-long ultra-heavy periods of DOOM on a 36-40 day cycle).

[glinda-w.livejournal.com]

I've nothing useful to say here, other than that this post reminded me of Connie Willis' short story "Even the Queen."

(And I am so, so very grateful I'm past menopause.)

[ricevermicelli.livejournal.com]

I love that story.

[jonquil.livejournal.com]

Heh. I was thinking The Long Summer. I only wish Harriet had accomplished her Scientific Project.

[aendr.livejournal.com]

Ooh that sounds like an interesting read. *Adds to wishlist*

[antonia-tiger.livejournal.com]

It's another of the myriad biological details which convinces me that there was no designer. We're an accumulation of accidents of evolution.

[ratphooey.livejournal.com]

This.

I nursed longer with my second than with my first, yet my period returned much sooner, which was Not Fair At All.

[nellorat.livejournal.com]

Yes-- What sense does it make to build a guest house, then tear it down when the guest doesn't arrive, so you have to start the whole cycle over next month?

OTOH, since now it doesn't hurt at all, I've been a lot less indignant. The pain really helped me wax wroth.

[ailbhe]

Hah, yes. Why can't we have homeopathic menstruation?

[green-knight.livejournal.com]

The annoying thing is that other mammals seem to be getting the same job done with much less blood and cramping.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

And, you know, not monthly.

[ailbhe]

Probably with more internal parasites and naturally short lifespans, though.

[green-knight.livejournal.com]

Parasites can be controlled, but yes, shorter lifespans - although I don't see any biological reason why there should be a correlation.

[ailbhe]

Better overall health making more frequent and longer opportunities for reproduction, probably.

[bosssio.livejournal.com]

I am pretty sure that "back in the day" with more limited nutrition and more frequent pregnancies (and miscarriages), extended nursing, later onset of puberty, and shorter lifespans, etc, women didn't menstruate nearly as often or for as long as they do now. Menstruation was actually a sign that a woman was fertile and able to get pregnant, so taken in a much more positive light. So our "normal" is not normal anyway.

[erbie.livejournal.com]

I read an article, I think it was by Malcolm Gladwell, that said pretty much this. IIRC, it was an article about the Pill and how it came about.

[zingerella.livejournal.com]

Many women probably didn't. Then, as now, some regularly menstruating women had fertility issues, were single and/or abstemious. More women did, of course, die before reaching menopause.

[naomikritzer]

It made me so happy to get those months without my period. (And I was super lucky: it didn't return until Molly was 15 months, and until Kiera was nearly two year old.) I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate it. I don't like the side effects of combination birth control, or I'd seriously consider using the one that lets you skip your periods.

[kate_nepveu]

It's a stupid way to perpetuate the species. The whole darn thing.

[adrian-turtle.livejournal.com]

Impurgating the stupid and wildly inefficient way to perpetuate the species, I have to say the whole fucking thing does have a FEW redeeming features. (The whole darn thing every month really could use a manual override, though.)

[kate-schaefer.livejournal.com]

Some time last year I was talking with your goddaughter about menopause, about how the hormones and mood swings were a little weird, but not as bad as adolescence, and how funny it was that the older women in my family hadn't ever talked with me about it. She got quiet for a moment, then said, "You mean it stops?"

"Yeah," I said. "After about thirty or forty years, it stops. It's called menopause. Didn't they tell you in sex ed?"

"It stops! Whoohoo!" Both fists in the air, and that looks pretty funny accessorized with a seatbelt. "Um. I guess they might have, when I wasn't listening."

Although I am sure you were listening, I am here to remind you that it does stop.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

I am trying to remember which book had a character come up with the definition "Menopause: A pause in which you reconsider men."

I figure I've got another twenty years to go. Jeez. Twenty years.

[mizchalmers.livejournal.com]

Obligatory plug for my IUD. I've had a Mirena since kid #2. Low-progesterone, so the hormone is just released into the tissue, not the bloodstream. I still get the hormonal changes, but counting the pregnancy, I haven't bled since early 2005.

[elynne.livejournal.com]

... omfg. I've had a tubal ligation, so I don't give a flip about the pregnancy, but the HORRIBLE STABBING PAIN OF DOOM for two frickin' days a month, plus assorted bleeding... I will have to talk to my doctor. Mirena. I'm writin' that down.

[erbie.livejournal.com]

Another plug for the Mirena. I've had about three "real" periods since September of 2005, due to pregnancy, extended nursing and Mirena. Nowadays, I get the mood changes, and some cramping and back pain, but no bleeding for going on 18 months. I've had it for 26 months. It did take a while to settle down, and I spotted for several months, but it was worth it! The only real periods I've had were between stopping pumping at 20 months post-partum, and getting the Mirena at 21 months PP, plus a couple of months to adjust and then taper down to nothing over 8-9 months.

[fairoriana.livejournal.com]

Yet another plug for the Mirena. I haven't had a period since before I got pregnant with Thane, and other that light unpredictable spotting, I have 0 side effects. MYYV.

[juthwara.livejournal.com]

Oh lordy, twenty years. Somehow I had it in my mind that it would be more like 10-15, but I suspect that's because my mother had a hysterectomy in her mid-forties, so that was the age that was affixed in my young mind as when you stop menstruating. But yeesh, 20 seems more likely if it comes to a natural end for me.

The two years I had with no period on Mirena were fantastic, especially since I only had two post-partum periods with K, so it was more like three years with almost no bleeding. If only it hadn't killed my sex drive.

[erbie.livejournal.com]

I remember thinking, before I had sex ed, that once your period started, that was it, you bled for the rest of your life. Wow, was I glad to hear otherwise!

[jonquil.livejournal.com]

Yes. I hate that mofo. In my '20s I tried to psych myself into thinking "I welcome my period! It means I'm not pregnant!" Didn't work.

I am now 50 and thinking MENOPAUSE WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU I WAS PROMISED MENOPAUSE. Not least because periods are a migraine trigger.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

In my '20s I tried to psych myself into thinking "I welcome my period! It means I'm not pregnant!" Didn't work.

Heh. I didn't really despise my period once the killer cramps of adolescence passed, but I don't think I could do the positive affirmation thing either.

After the whole merry-go-round of trying to get pregnant-being pregnant-miscarrying-trying to get pregnant-being pregnant but still spotting a lot, I am now having to work consciously to overcome my OH SHIT THERE'S BLOOD reaction. "Oh yeah! That's okay now!"

[ricevermicelli.livejournal.com]

I have had one period since Hotspur was born, and that was nearly five months ago, but a great big hell to the yeah on the need to overcome the OH SHIT THERE'S BLOOD reaction.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

OMG so much more so for you than me. Yeah.

[cynthia1960.livejournal.com]

Heh, I'll be 50 in August, and have been muttering the where the hell are you menopause mantra for years now.

[tassie-gal.livejournal.com]

Forgot to add - happiest six months of my fertile life were the 6 months I was on Syneral for endometriosis. If thats menopause bring it on! (and yes I am only 32 and trying to see if there is any history in either side of the family for early menopause....unfortunately fecundity appears to run in the family with my mother being the exception.

[jinian.livejournal.com]

I hate it so much. I'm physically miserable every month, and it's just a completely unreasonable and idiotic way to run reproduction. Shunts now!

[janetl.livejournal.com]

I am reminded of some ancient history. I was given a new prescription for birth controls pills that were slightly different than old ones -- lower dose and presumed healthier. I had breakthrough bleeding for several days mid-cycle. I go to the doctor's office, where I am seen by a female nurse practioner. I explain the problem and say I want a prescription for the former product. NP goes to male doctor, returns and says "doctor says that breakthrough bleeding is minor thing, and you should stay on this new prescription".
Me, in Darth Vader voice (if memory serves), "I must speak to that doctor NOW". And more along that line, until she actually dares to bother the doctor (this was 25 years ago).
Doctor, much surprised and irritated at being questioned, arrives. Me (a.k.a. Darth Vader), "Do you have any idea what it is like to have a orifice without a sphincter that can bleed at any time? No control at all? What on earth makes you think this is a minor annoyance?" and more in that vein.
Needless to say, he did not apologize for presuming to make decisions for me without talking to me first, or imply that his wisdom wasn't superior, but he did immediately wrote the prescription to get me the hell out of there.

[ailbhe]

*applause*

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

Ever stop to add up how many months total you've spent bleeding, since menarche?

No, just don't.

[micheinnz.livejournal.com]

Hell of a system test, isn't it. And, IMO, one in the eye for the "intelligent design" crowd.