Anne of Green Gables.

[rivka]

In the down time between clients and subjects, I've been reading through the Anne of Green Gables series on my Palm Pilot. I only ever read the first one as a child, so the rest - Anne of Avonlea, Anne of the Island, Anne of Windy Poplars, Anne's House of Dreams - have been completely new to me. I don't think any of them are as good as the first, but they're still enjoyable to read.

The latest one that I'm reading starts with Anne's wedding to Gilbert Blythe. I found myself wondering what Anne would have thought of her wedding night. How did her ethereal, romantic, spiritual nature come to terms with the earthy embodied messiness of sex? Did she even know what to expect when the time came? Would Mrs. Rachel Lynde have sat her down to explain the nuts and bolts of it, or would she have whispered questions to Diana in that last night in the gable room? Was she frightened or disappointed, or did she enjoy it?

As a feminist child of the modern age, it's hard for me to imagine that leap across the threshold from sexual ignorance to sexual initiation, from sexual contact (and probably even the discussion of sexual contact) being forbidden to sexual intercourse being required. Before I lost my virginity, I'd read about sex and seen pictures of naked bodies and had conversations with more- and less-experienced friends and tried - and enjoyed - lots and lots of the intermediate steps. My mind doesn't quite wrap itself around how it would have been for Anne, who had only ever shared chaste kisses with Gilbert Blythe.

Alas, I suspect that the very differences that make it impossible for me to imagine her perspective on her wedding night would also render her unlikely to speak or write about it. It just... I knew how she felt when she dyed her hair green, and when she turned down Roy whatever-his-name-was, and even when Ruby Gillis lay dying. It's only here that I feel myself on the other side of a gulf.

Comments

[wiredferret.livejournal.com]

I've wondered about that myself.

I think of my mother. For her, sex is a spiritual experience, a surrender of the body and the desire to God's purpose. She speaks of sex as a sacrament.

That makes me sad, but it obviously works for her.

[trinker.livejournal.com]

Is it "sex as a sacrament", or the "surrender of body and desire to God's purpose" bit that makes it seem sad to you?

Because it seems to me that "sex as a spiritual experience" isn't necessarily a sad thing.

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

I had a moment like that. I was reading Cujo, by Stephen King. In it, there's a passage where this woman forced herself to stay silent during sex; her husband "didn't know that what always happened to men could happen for women too".

This was written during my lifetime... and I was just thinking "NO WAY! I mean... NO FREAKIN' WAY!"

Well, of course, later on, I thought about things I'd heard from childhood and a bit later... references to "the big O" and other such things that made me realize that, yes, a guy in that day (especially in a small town) *COULD* end up not knowing this. It really did come about in my lifetime.

This doesn't relate exactly to what you were describing, quite... but it's something similar from the male perspective... just a "geez, things were so different I probably can't imagine them".

[kightp.livejournal.com]

*rueful chuckle*

I was probably 16 before I grokked that "that funny feeling" not only wasn't some strange, semi-embarrassing phenomenon that happened only to me, but had a name.

It another year or so later before I met a man who not only knew that women had orgasms, but had some clue how to help them achieve one. (Need I add that I liked him a *lot*?)

OK, I'm older than you, but not *that* much older ... and at the time I was living in urban California. And I was a pretty voracious reader.

One person's life is another's ancient history. (-:

[kyttn.livejournal.com]

I can tell you how Anne felt. She was so much in love with Gilbert, and he with her, and for both of them, it was their first time. She was a little nervous, and very shy, but after all, this was her dear Gilbert, and she trusted him. Mrs. Lynde tried to tell her what to expect, but Anne didn't listen too closely, because it would take away the magic.

It was magical. There was a lot of soft loving whispered endearments and instructions. Nervous giggles and some outright laughter as they learned each other's bodies. yes, there was passion and incredible sensation, but there was supposed to be, as part of the magic.

I strongly suspect that Anne was able to integrate the messiness right in with the magic. By this point she had learned how to be practical without losing romance and magic. Perhaps Gil washed her gently afterwards, soft, tender and loving. Or maybe they just curled up together, feeling close and loved and right. Anne was happy. I know that beyond the shadow of a doubt. It was a very wonderful night.

I don't know...

[rivka.livejournal.com]

...that sounds so much like a romance novel. That's how, from my perspective the turn of the 21st century, I might write a sex scene between people at the turn of the 20th. What I was trying to say is that I don't trust that perspective - too many of the assumptions, too much of the background information is different.

I don't think that "passion and incredible sensation" were a typical part of an uninformed, strictly brought up, inexperienced girl's first experience of sex. Especially if her partner were also inexperienced. Remember that this was an era in which medical authorities argued that properly healthy and well-bred women didn't experience any pleasure during sex. It certainly wasn't expected - not the way it is today, when we're practically taught to view orgasms as a civil right.

I'm not even sure that Anne would have a romantic view of sex - at least, not at first. I can certainly imagine that it was something she eventually came to enjoy, but I'd imagine that at first it didn't have much to do with her romantic fancies.

Modern people see romance as culminating in sex. Anne saw romance as culminating in... well, romance, actually (look at all the "terribly romantic" stories she wrote about doomed loves), although romance culminating in marriage was an acceptable alternative. It wouldn't surprise me if sex were something she put up with, at first, and found their real closenes was their walks and conversations.

But as I said, I don't know. It's too hard for me to set aside all of my 21st century attitudes and knowledge and experience, to see things through Anne's eyes.

Re: I don't know...

[kyttn.livejournal.com]

I do know... because I was raised on Anne books, Emily books, and Little Women. And that is very much what my first experience was like. Even now I don't expect but a certain amount of pleasure from sex and am pleasantly suprised when it goes beyond my expectations. I treasure the closeness instead.

[(Anonymous)]

I hadn't realized you had only read the one. I would have provided them in book form for you. They're not as good, but I'm still fond of them.

I think I read that part when I was 11. I knew the very basics of sex because I was forced to attend an afternoon discussion about it in my Grade 6 class, complete with the movies and little booklets. I wanted nothing to do with it and paid as little attention as possible. Knowing little to nothing about what would happen on one's wedding night seemed natural. I figured love would make it tolerable.

I can't say I knew much more about it before my first experience.

It does feel normal to me, but I'm sure it's an unusual feeling now. I'm glad that it is.

Carol

Anne's House of Dreams

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

If L.M. Montgomery is getting at the topic of sex in Anne's House of Dreams I think she's doing it very obliquely.

She's doing it partly with the character of Leslie (who I think is one of Montgomery's more interesting secondary characters) who represents repressed passion (symbolized by her always wearing something red).

But I also think that Montgomery was exorcising some of her own personal history in writing this book, e.g., in the story line about Joy. That was autobiographical for her, and I'm not going to spoil it for you if you haven't gotten to that part yet. That always felt like the one of most true sections of any of her writing, because it was obvious that she was touching upon her own (deeply emotional) personal story. In that story line, she was talking about sex obliquely by showing that sex has consequences. This consequence reverberates for Anne for a lifetime.

I thought Anne's House of Dreams was the third best of the series. The first was the best (of course) and the second best was the one about Marilla (her daughter) during WWI.

Enjoy them! I envy you, reading them for the first time.

Cheers,
Peg

[purpletigron.livejournal.com]

Was she frightened or disappointed, or did she enjoy it?

I expect that most `real' Annes were frightened, disappointed, disgusted, scared, or maybe bored... I'm guessing that new husbands and new wives who could really understand one another's perspective, and work through that well on the very first night, would be rare and lucky. After all, I gather that most people find their first sexual encounter to be less marvellous than they'd hoped, even now without the full weight of the `Victorian' baggage?

Incidentally...

[rivka.livejournal.com]

Ought I to know who you are? Your "friends" list suggests that we move in the same circles, but your username isn't ringing a bell.

[lcohen]

oh my! i've only read the first two. now i need to go back and see which ones i own and read them. i shall blame you, of course ;-).

let's embrace the fact that I showed up to the party...

[riarambles.livejournal.com]

This is a *late* comment, but I had to say, on this subject, that you really must find and read the first volume of L. M. Montgomery's journals. There are a couple of passages in there in which she describes sexual feelings and desires in a very... almost explicit way. It's quite interesting, and blew my mind when I first read it.

Re: let's embrace the fact that I showed up to the party...

[rivka.livejournal.com]

Really! Thanks, that does sound cool. I'll see if I can get my university library to find it for me.

Also, um, hi! You're a friend of therealjae's, right? How did you happen to be reading my journal from months and months ago?(Not that I mind.)