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rivkaIt didn't used to be newsworthy, honest. *grin* In college and immediately afterward (when I lived in the Blue Universe in Portland, which sometimes seemed like the crossroads of the L/B/T universe, and there was always someone crashing on our couch or smoking on our front porch) all my friends were meatspace friends. I went most places in the midst of a loosely (very loosely) organized crowd, and I had a small circle of very close friends.
Then I moved to Iowa. And went to graduate school. And I made a couple of good friends, but most of the people around me were acquaintances. We were going through training together, so we hung out together. That didn't necessarily make us friends. And for the first time in my life, net-friends and long-distance friends started to be a lot more important to me than local friends.
Here in Baltimore I have local partners, at least - all of whom I met online. There are a few more people who could probably develop into good friends - all of whom I met online. The people I met on internship, well, they were a lot more like most of the people I went to graduate school with - we had some things in common and had fun hanging out, but we're not likely to become close.
But now! There's someone I met through entirely meatspace channels, someone who is in point of fact nearly net-illiterate, and we're quickly becoming close. I'd forgotten that I could do that. *grin* She's the new intern in our program, so she's doing a lot of the same work things I did last year and she shares a lot of the same professional interests. But that's not all that's there. She's warm without being fluffy, direct as all hell, and simultaneously assertive and laid-back. She's got a very astute political sense of the world: not necessarily in a Republicans/ Democrats sense, but in the sense of examining and analyzing power dynamics and identities and roles - and she's smart about it. Sometimes it seems as though any time I try to talk about that sort of thing I either find myself cringing away from shrill knee-jerk fanatics who are supposed to be "on my side"[1] or beating my head against a brick wall trying to explain the concept of "privilege" to someone who has never stopped to consider whether their personal successes might be due in part to anything other than individual virtue. It's such a joy and a relief to hang out with someone who gets it.
And she's led an interesting life. And she makes me laugh. And she compliments my fashion sense. Do you have any idea how unlikely that last bit is? *grin*
This is not to say that any of my dear net friends - one of whom almost perfectly fits this description, except for the fashion-sense part (waving at the TOCOTOXling) - should feel that they've been supplanted, or weren't adequate, or something. It's just that it feels so good to have a friend like this who's local. And to know that I really can interest someone who doesn't primarily think of me as text-based. (I don't think that text-based interactions are inferior, understand, but a girl starts to wonder when that's mostly what she has.)
So I have a meatspace friend. One who seems equally interested in knowing me and hanging out with me. Stop the presses!
[1] To the best of my recollection, no one I can expect to be reading this falls into this category. So don't worry, okay? I didn't mean you.
Then I moved to Iowa. And went to graduate school. And I made a couple of good friends, but most of the people around me were acquaintances. We were going through training together, so we hung out together. That didn't necessarily make us friends. And for the first time in my life, net-friends and long-distance friends started to be a lot more important to me than local friends.
Here in Baltimore I have local partners, at least - all of whom I met online. There are a few more people who could probably develop into good friends - all of whom I met online. The people I met on internship, well, they were a lot more like most of the people I went to graduate school with - we had some things in common and had fun hanging out, but we're not likely to become close.
But now! There's someone I met through entirely meatspace channels, someone who is in point of fact nearly net-illiterate, and we're quickly becoming close. I'd forgotten that I could do that. *grin* She's the new intern in our program, so she's doing a lot of the same work things I did last year and she shares a lot of the same professional interests. But that's not all that's there. She's warm without being fluffy, direct as all hell, and simultaneously assertive and laid-back. She's got a very astute political sense of the world: not necessarily in a Republicans/ Democrats sense, but in the sense of examining and analyzing power dynamics and identities and roles - and she's smart about it. Sometimes it seems as though any time I try to talk about that sort of thing I either find myself cringing away from shrill knee-jerk fanatics who are supposed to be "on my side"[1] or beating my head against a brick wall trying to explain the concept of "privilege" to someone who has never stopped to consider whether their personal successes might be due in part to anything other than individual virtue. It's such a joy and a relief to hang out with someone who gets it.
And she's led an interesting life. And she makes me laugh. And she compliments my fashion sense. Do you have any idea how unlikely that last bit is? *grin*
This is not to say that any of my dear net friends - one of whom almost perfectly fits this description, except for the fashion-sense part (waving at the TOCOTOXling) - should feel that they've been supplanted, or weren't adequate, or something. It's just that it feels so good to have a friend like this who's local. And to know that I really can interest someone who doesn't primarily think of me as text-based. (I don't think that text-based interactions are inferior, understand, but a girl starts to wonder when that's mostly what she has.)
So I have a meatspace friend. One who seems equally interested in knowing me and hanging out with me. Stop the presses!
[1] To the best of my recollection, no one I can expect to be reading this falls into this category. So don't worry, okay? I didn't mean you.
no subject
Date: 2001-08-31 07:06 am (UTC)It's why I find He Who I Am Not Dating so reassuring. We do all that stuff friends are *supposed* to be able to do, happily and cheerfully. Movies, food, going to the Como Park zoo and riding the carousel, just because we can and we want to.
And, damnit, I miss him. (He's been visiting the east coast for 2 weeks. Due back on Wednesday. I'm cat-sitting for him, but that doesn't quite count.)