Sunday morning.
Jan. 30th, 2011 09:58 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rivkaIt's Sunday morning, and I don't want to go to church.
Nine years ago, Michael and I made the decision that we are a family that goes to church whether we feel like it or not. That goes double now that we have kids in Religious Education. Church is the way it is. But I'm not feeling it, and I haven't for a while.
Well, I have a toddler. I haven't been able to sit and listen to an entire service in... yeah, it's been a while. Michael does half the Colin duty, but he does it on the weeks that I am occupied during the service teaching Religious Education. (Which by the way, I have not been enjoying at all.) We could have made a push to get Colin comfortable in the nursery, but we haven't. I confess that I don't feel particularly motivated to do it. I don't feel like I've bonded to our new minister, so I guess I've felt less of a drive to get Colin settled so that I can go hear the sermon.
Michael, of course, is hugely involved in church leadership. Hugely. He's the vice-president of the Board of Trustees and the chair of the Stewardship Committee. We're swinging into stewardship season, so church business is about to start taking even more of his time than it already does. And the Nominating Committee has asked him to stand for presidency of the congregation this coming year. They don't really have any other candidates. It's something he is called to do, and he'll be awesome at it, but I'm dreading it.
I kind of feel like, the more that Michael does at church, the less there is there for me. Church starts to feel like an obligation, something that cuts into our family time and demands that I do a lot of extra solo parenting.
I don't know. It's not like my feelings about Unitarian-Universalism have changed at all. And it's not like I don't respect the value of our church as an institution. But I don't feel like going to church is feeding me. It just feels like work.
I know there are people on my friends list who have been committed to a church or another institution for the long term. How do you handle the down cycles? Or don't you have them?
Nine years ago, Michael and I made the decision that we are a family that goes to church whether we feel like it or not. That goes double now that we have kids in Religious Education. Church is the way it is. But I'm not feeling it, and I haven't for a while.
Well, I have a toddler. I haven't been able to sit and listen to an entire service in... yeah, it's been a while. Michael does half the Colin duty, but he does it on the weeks that I am occupied during the service teaching Religious Education. (Which by the way, I have not been enjoying at all.) We could have made a push to get Colin comfortable in the nursery, but we haven't. I confess that I don't feel particularly motivated to do it. I don't feel like I've bonded to our new minister, so I guess I've felt less of a drive to get Colin settled so that I can go hear the sermon.
Michael, of course, is hugely involved in church leadership. Hugely. He's the vice-president of the Board of Trustees and the chair of the Stewardship Committee. We're swinging into stewardship season, so church business is about to start taking even more of his time than it already does. And the Nominating Committee has asked him to stand for presidency of the congregation this coming year. They don't really have any other candidates. It's something he is called to do, and he'll be awesome at it, but I'm dreading it.
I kind of feel like, the more that Michael does at church, the less there is there for me. Church starts to feel like an obligation, something that cuts into our family time and demands that I do a lot of extra solo parenting.
I don't know. It's not like my feelings about Unitarian-Universalism have changed at all. And it's not like I don't respect the value of our church as an institution. But I don't feel like going to church is feeding me. It just feels like work.
I know there are people on my friends list who have been committed to a church or another institution for the long term. How do you handle the down cycles? Or don't you have them?
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no subject
Date: 2011-01-30 04:19 pm (UTC)This morning, I just couldn't get myself out of bed to go. I can't remember the last time that happened. My long suffering husband took my children without me.
It's January. Everyone wants a piece of me. I get no time for myself (or at least it feels that way). There are three huge spheres of responsibility -- and none of them seem to REALIZE that I'm trying to balance them all. (Work, family and church.)
It definitely does go in waves. But in your place, I would certainly take the chance to get Colin to do nursery. Even if the sermon doesn't catch at you, imagine having 20 minutes just to sit there quietly and let your mind wander. Bliss. Hopefully, though, you discover more going on with the sermon and do find your soul being fed.
This morning, among the piles of guilt at abandoning family and church in favor of sleep, I remembered what Jesus said about the Sunday morning struggle....
"Man was not made for the sabbath, but the sabbath was made for man."
We were given a day to rest because we get really tired, and we need a break.
no subject
Date: 2011-01-30 08:00 pm (UTC)"Man was not made for the sabbath, but the sabbath was made for man."
We were given a day to rest because we get really tired, and we need a break.
Hahahahaha! You're so funny. Sunday is the opposite of a day of rest. Either we have to show up early because someone is doing something, or there's some kind of a meeting after church, and monitoring the kids' behavior, and teaching, and and and.