Update on the shouting.

[rivka]

Writing my last post and reading the responses to it helped clarify things a great deal. What's also helped has been two evenings in a row without Richard. Last night, he and Laura were both exhausted from touring the Smithsonian, and they abandoned their plans to join us in English Country Dancing. Today, Richard decided to stay home and read while Laura joins us for dinner &etc. Is good.

Here's our plan:
1. Misha and I will talk to Laura tonight about how Richard's behavior has been making me feel.
2. I will be more assertive with Richard in the future about my right not to be shouted at.
3. I will try not to get sucked up into arguing with Richard.
4. I have a "get out of Richard free" card, to be played any evening in the upcoming week, in the form of a "prior commitment" that will necessitate me taking the car and going off alone.

I'm feeling much, much better now that all of this has been established - and not just the plan, but also my right to a plan, if that makes sense. My right to be upset. Thank you, all of you who contributed ideas. And thanks especially to Misha, who has been doing his utmost to take care of me.

Comments

[anisoptera.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a great plan.

[saoba.livejournal.com]

Excellent plan.

As for Misha, he's a prince. I've always said so. I may even have mentioned it in his letter of reference.