alt.polycon 9 report - part II.

[rivka]

The first panel Friday night was "Coming Out, Staying In." A lot of people showed up (which, unfortunately, did not include one of the panelists). I knew that the panel would interest me and irritate me, and it did. The irritation is pretty much all self-directed. I'm not as out as I'd like to be. I can't really justify not being out to my family, but I don't want to come out to them, either. Being at the panel put pressure on me to examine my reasons and assumptions. One useful bit to hold on to: coming out doesn't necessarily mean sitting them down and giving a dramatic speech. I think that's how it's always looked in my head.

Next was the first non-panel programming item, "Beyond ASCII Art" - otherwise known as the 3D relationship model-building exercise. It was my idea and I was really excited about it, so I was a bit disappointed that only eight or nine people showed up. Tal showed up for a while, but seemed uncomfortable and barely spoke to anyone. (It was the closest contact I had with him all weekend. I feel a bit embarrassed that, as a member of the concom, I didn't do more to make him feel welcome... but he freaks me out.) The rest of us had a great time building models and telling each other about them. lilairen posted a picture of hers here. The models spent the rest of the con on the windowsill of one of the programming rooms, and a lot of people had positive things to say about them. So I guess it was a good program item even though not many people actually attended.

I wandered up to the consuite, which was huuuuge and had an enormous window overlooking the scenic suburban region. I had some of lilairen's cider mead, which was lovely enough to overcome my natural dislike of sweet drinks, and wound up in the bedroom, where some nice mellow cuddling and talking was going on. It was all very low-key and friendly and peaceful.

rmjwell came through and I tried to solicit a backrub. He came back with a counteroffer involving a set of custom-fit finger claws he happened to have back in his room, and fetched them. I, um. Having mostly encountered pixel's banjo pick claws, I wasn't actually expecting these to be very sharp. They were. I spent what felt like a very long stretch of time leaning against the bed, squirming and whimpering, as rmjwell worked my back over, while the other people on the bed watched and made the occasional appreciative comment and stroked my hair. I wound up melting into a little puddle of endorphiny bliss on the floor. I hadn't - at all - been expecting to go there, but it was good.

Then I crawled back up on the bed and drank water and chatted for a while, while rmjwell rubbed my feet and angilong petted my head. I felt peaceful and floaty and not particularly capable of movement, so it's a good thing that my fellow bed-occupiers were such good company. curiousangel wandered in with geekchick, the first time I'd seen him since dinner. Eventually he coaxed me to my feet and guided me off to bed. I hated the idea of going to sleep as early as 1am, but I'd been up since five and my sentences had pretty much stopped making sense.

(More tomorrow. Tonight is my last night with Ben before he sails away for the winter.)

Comments

[rmjwell.livejournal.com]

*smile* It was a nice moment for me, too.

Give my best to Ben, if you see this before he leaves.

[therealjae.livejournal.com]

I want to see a picture of *yours*! :-)

-J

[lcohen]

hers was totally cool--one of the moments that i know will stay with me from the weekend is rivka explaining her model to me.

lisa, who should note that she was not actually technically at the polycon, mind you

[wcg.livejournal.com]

I hope you get to see a picture of hers. The representation for you was intriguing. (You're also in mine, BTW, via her.)

[therealjae.livejournal.com]

"If I were a bead, what kind would I be?" ;-)

-J

[wcg.livejournal.com]

You'd be a pretty bead, with an intriguingly faceted and textured surface. There'd be shades of color around a lapis lazuli center, with streaks of gold shot through. Translucent layers would reveal tantalizing suggestions about the depth of the bead's properties.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

Pictures were taken with jinian's camera, so hopefully I can oblige you.

[dedoc.livejournal.com]

... waves at Ben...

On cons and presentations: It's hard, sometimes, when you're all hopped up to give a panel, and you look out at a sea of mostly empty chairs. But your insight about the worth of the panel is spot on. Sometimes, it's the discussions provoked afterwards, and the way it resonates around people's heads, that are the payoff.

Now, if you find a way to convince YOUR ego of that, please share; I still have trouble with that part. --blush--

[redbird]

I didn't go to your program item because I don't have a very complex relationship-set to model; ASCII art is sufficient (I wouldn't mind more complexity, but I don't feel up to publicly assembling a model of what-I-might-like, including everything from the friends whose hormones I don't carbonate to people who don't quite exist.

[futabachan.livejournal.com]

Sorry for not getting your panelist back in time; we kind of got ourselves sort of a little bit, um, well, lost. (Said panelist is doing fine now, btw.)

And I had been planning to come to that panel and to your diagrammy thing, but between the Great Ethiopian Food Debacle and another driving hiccup trying and failing to find a theater that was playing Spirited Away earlier in the day before the con, I was totally at the end of my rope when we got back to the hotel, and all I could do was retire to Amanda's apartment and decompress.