Update: Far from home.

[rivka]

We're still in Memphis. Right now we're at curiousangel's best friend's house, and I've slipped away to borrow her computer. It's been my only chance at net access, other than standing up at a terminal in a Davis-Kidd bookstore that's really only supposed to be used to search their website. I shouldn't be antisocial for much longer here, but I'm suffering from withdrawal.

It's a fine trip, so far. It's not like being with my own family, but curiousangel's family tries very hard to be welcoming. They're really glad to see us. That helps. Mostly I'm focusing on this trip as a chance to relax, catch up on sleep, reconnect with curiousangel. I'm much less fixated this year on the differences between Christmas here and real Christmas, and as a result I'm able to enjoy myself a lot more.

Our big Christmas present came from his father: money to buy ourselves a sleigh bed. The bed we use now is at least twenty years old, and it wasn't a fine piece of furniture at any point in its history. I'm looking forward to replacing it. And I'm sure that legions of people who have slept in our guest room are looking forward to having that futon replaced by our current bed, which is at least comfortable, if not beautiful.

In other news, we had a deep-fried turkey for Christmas dinner. Really. A deep-fried turkey. I didn't know that real people did that sort of thing, but it was marvelous - juicy and rich, with a deep mahogany-brown skin. Mmmm. Less successful was the dish of asparagus that had been boiled for about half an hour and then topped with melted cheddar cheese, and the cotton-textured coconut cake. Southern cooking definitely has its ups and downs.

I should go be social now. Rest assured that I miss my constant connection to you all.

Comments

[geekchick]

Really. A deep-fried turkey. I didn't know that real people did that sort of thing

They do, really. (I have not, but stop by Home Depot anytime near Thanksgiving and you'll find all kinds of turkey fryers for sale.)

[cattitude.livejournal.com]

Underwriters Laboratories has *this* to say about deep-fat turkey friers.

If I could get cooking equipment to do that on a regular basis, I wouldn't need class B explosives for July fourth.

[rmjwell.livejournal.com]

I know some folks who deep-fried a froze turkey in a 55-gallon drum (not to worry, they used cooking oil, not crude). It turned out very well, but they had to be well clear of the cloud of vaporizing oil.

This is a group whose unofficial motto is "That sounds like a neat idea to try... in someone else's home."

[nolly.livejournal.com]

Not all Southern cooking is created equal. I'm at my grandparents' in Alabama. My aunt brought a barbequed turkey from Tennessee which was quite tasty, and the asparagus was nicely done in a lemon-butter sauce. Fudge, divinity, and Christmas tree spritz-type cookies from my mother, these fantastic almond roca bars my grandmother made, my aunt's usual Christmas sugar cookies, and various goodies my brother and sister-in-law brought back from Europe.

[wcg.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the update darling. Sorry 'bout the asparagus. At least it wasn't okra.

[therealjae.livejournal.com]

How on earth does one deep-fry a turkey? And for how long?

-J

[tammylc.livejournal.com]

http://www.tznet.com/lwittman/turkey.html

[hobbitbabe.livejournal.com]

I've been missing your writing too! I'm glad things are going well and I look forward to hearing more.

Your phrase much less fixated this year on the differences between Christmas here and real Christmas is helping me think about some of my own feelings.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

Your phrase much less fixated this year on the differences between Christmas here and real Christmas is helping me think about some of my own feelings.

I'd be interested in hearing what you have to say along those lines, if you feel like writing about it.

I led a "Coping with the Holidays" workshop at the clinic where I work, and as an exercise I had people write or draw pictures about what was important for them to have as part of the holidays, and what was important to exclude. Then I had people distill both lists down to a single word that captured the essence of what they wanted and didn't want. Of course I did the exercise myself first, and was surprised to find that my one-word essence was "traditional." That's not what I would have predicted.

It turns out that I have a lot of emotional investment - more so than I'd realized - in having Christmas be the way it's always been. Just knowing that helped me get past it. I would find myself feeling disappointed at the way things were done (such as opening presents on Christmas Eve) and I would stop and ask: "Is it bad, or is it just not what you're used to?" I would also positively assert things to myself: "curiousangel is your family, and you're with him. So you are with your family on Christmas."

I also made some specific changes in how things happened. For example, I asked curiousangel if we could find a Unitarian church for Christmas Eve, rather than going to mass with his stepmother, because mass was so different from what I was used to that I didn't enjoy it at all. (They don't sing carols at mass!) The Unitarian service wasn't exactly like the Congregational one I grew up with, but it hit most of the right notes. So that worked well.