rivka | I am the biggest bitch in the world.

Rivka: Good morning.
Health Club Clerk: Oh, good for you, you made it in.
Rivka: [silently wonders why this is news]
Health Club Clerk: [takes membership card to scan] I have a friend, she's got multiple sclerosis, and she blah blah blah.
Rivka: Why are you telling me this?
Health Club Clerk: [says more things about her friend with multiple sclerosis]
Rivka: [slightly louder] Why are you telling me this?
Health Club Clerk: Well... what do you have?
Rivka: That's a personal question. That's none of your business.
Health Club Clerk: Oh. But I just...
Rivka: [firmly] It's a very rude question. [walks away]
Health Club Clerk: [calling after her] I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt your feelings!
Rivka: [calling back] You didn't "hurt my feelings," you made me angry.
Health Club Clerk: Ma'am, ma'am, please come here. Please accept my apology.
Rivka: [alarmed] Okay, just... okay, don't cry.
Health Club Clerk: [crying] I am going to cry. I've had a really bad day, and...
Rivka: Look, I'm sorry you've had a bad day, but...
Health Club Clerk: Please, please say you accept my apology.
Rivka: Fine. I accept your apology. Okay.

Sheesh.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I definitely appreciate your distinction.

Just out of curiosity, is it ever appropriate for me to accomodate or notice someone's disability if they don't bring it up first? Like on the Subway, if someone comes in limping or with a visible mobility problem, and I'm sitting in the "give up this seat if someone comes in needing it" spot, should I wait for them to tell me they would like it, or automatically relinquish it? Are there any other circumstances where I should proactively accomodate disability? Or should I always reactively accomodate it?

I don't know what others will say, but I always follow the posted rules, and I try to be proactive (when I notice). But I also try not to be offended if the person I offer the seat to turns it down.

You should automatically relinquish it, if you're sitting in that section. Many, many disabled people don't like to ask for help.

(deleted comment)

What about a regular subway seat? I'd probably be inclined to give that up to someone who needed it more than me, too.

I go by facial expressions. If a person (any person, of any size, shape, or gender) looks tired, I say, "You look like you've had a bad day. Would you like my seat?"

I have back problems which can be disabling on some days. It's more noticeable on some days than others - occasionally I carry a stick, more often I walk awkwardly or rub my back where it hurts. If someone notices or happens to know I have a bad back, I always appreciate the offer of a seat - if it so happens that the offer comes on one of my better days and I think the other person may be more in need of the seat than I feel, I can always thank them politely and say that actually, I'm okay today. That's much easier than getting over the awkwardness of asking someone to move, without knowing how they'll react and whether, in fact, they may have an invisible disability themselves. If they offer, at least I can be reasonably sure that they feel able to stand themselves.

I am the biggest bitch in the world.

Re: JMO here, a little less grumpy I hope

Re: JMO here, a little less grumpy I hope

Re: JMO here, a little less grumpy I hope

Re: JMO here, a little less grumpy I hope

Re: JMO here, a little less grumpy I hope

Re: JMO here, a little less grumpy I hope