I am the biggest bitch in the world.

[rivka]

Rivka: Good morning.
Health Club Clerk: Oh, good for you, you made it in.
Rivka: [silently wonders why this is news]
Health Club Clerk: [takes membership card to scan] I have a friend, she's got multiple sclerosis, and she blah blah blah.
Rivka: Why are you telling me this?
Health Club Clerk: [says more things about her friend with multiple sclerosis]
Rivka: [slightly louder] Why are you telling me this?
Health Club Clerk: Well... what do you have?
Rivka: That's a personal question. That's none of your business.
Health Club Clerk: Oh. But I just...
Rivka: [firmly] It's a very rude question. [walks away]
Health Club Clerk: [calling after her] I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt your feelings!
Rivka: [calling back] You didn't "hurt my feelings," you made me angry.
Health Club Clerk: Ma'am, ma'am, please come here. Please accept my apology.
Rivka: [alarmed] Okay, just... okay, don't cry.
Health Club Clerk: [crying] I am going to cry. I've had a really bad day, and...
Rivka: Look, I'm sorry you've had a bad day, but...
Health Club Clerk: Please, please say you accept my apology.
Rivka: Fine. I accept your apology. Okay.

Sheesh.

Comments

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

Nod. I feel badly for the attendant as well; I could have done the same thing in different circumstances at different times in my life.

It's a tricky thing, I suppose.

Yeah, people have to learn, and they can't just be told "don't do that! It's horribly rude!" every time they blow it.

But, in the end, there's really no way to teach people the proper way to act all the time. The only way to learn to avoid doing the wrong thing is to screw up once in a while, realize you screwed up, and try to learn why things blew up in your face, and realize when there's enough of a pattern to recognize.

It sucks when there's a lot of pain involved in those screwups, but, well, that's just the way life is.

Keep in mind that, even if it looks like some folks are upset with the attendent, no one is saying anything to the attendent. If they were speaking to the attendent, they'd be more sympathetic, and explain why she was being rude, and probably comfort her, explaining that, no, she hadn't committed some horrible, grievous sin, she'd been annoying, "go forth and (try to) sin no more", and all that.

[fairoriana.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think you're right.

Poor Rivka! With all this long discussion going on in her journal/inbox.

Thank you for allowing this discussion, Rivka. I do appreciate it.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

Keep in mind that, even if it looks like some folks are upset with the attendent, no one is saying anything to the attendent. If they were speaking to the attendent, they'd be more sympathetic, and explain why she was being rude, and probably comfort her, explaining that, no, she hadn't committed some horrible, grievous sin, she'd been annoying, "go forth and (try to) sin no more", and all that.

John, keep in mind that you can really only speak for yourself in this. I have no doubt whatsoever that several of the commenters here, if given the opportunity to discuss this situation directly with the clerk, would in fact not be sympathetic and comforting.

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

True.

I suppose I was making an assumption of an equivalent situation to this one, where the people discussing it have some level of at least kinda-friendly interest in the person in question.

And, even that might not be enough; I've known more than a few people who think that "gentle remonstration" means there's less than a pint of blood loss, and actual complaints are when they get *nasty* about it.

What I was trying to express is that no one is attacking a *PERSON* here. There isn't a living, breathing, feeling human being who is being pounded on here; there's an image in people's mind formed by what you've related. And, that's a very shallow image; there's very little that's known about it, for real.

And... while it can hurt to see this "imaginary person" being beaten up, and thinking of it all as being real, it's not real, and it's frequently better to assume that things would be different if it *was* real... at least until you know they wouldn't be.

Because, otherwise, the conversation has too much risk of being "about" this person we know nothing about, and diverts attention from the actual problem, which is people being cluelessly (or even not-cluelessly) rude.

And, hell, never mind. My thoughts are getting harder to express, and if I haven't made the point I was trying to make, more words aren't going to make my point any clearer. I think I'm going to drop out of this discussion, rather than risk digging myself in any deeper.