50-book challenge: May.
Jun. 18th, 2007 10:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rivkaI kept thinking that I must've forgotten some of my May books, but the truth is that I think I hardly read anything in May. A lot of magazines - I got caught up (sort of) on the New Yorker. May was pretty angsty, and I think I just wasn't up to doing much. I did read a few new-to-me books, though.
Little Bitty Lies, by Mary Kay Andrews.
A few years ago, I read Andrews' debut novel, Savannah Blues and liked it - it was an interesting chick lit/mystery blend, with good characterization and a well-invoked setting. Little Bitty Lies looked much, much more chick-ish at the library, but I picked it up anyway because I'd liked the previous one. Alas, I should've judged it by its cover. Cardboard characters, unbelievable plot.
Between Parent and Child (Revised Edition), by Haim Ginott.
This is a wonderful book about living with children. I wish I had written down some of the quotes that really struck me while I still had the book. It's hard to sum up in a few words, but Ginott's essential position is that family life needs to honor the emotions of both parents and children. He has a lot of suggestions for how to manage conflicts without demeaning children or controlling them unnecessarily, but (unlike many of the more modern proponents of this kind of child-rearing), he also has no problem with parents saying things like, "I am furious right now!" or laying down the law with firm authority.
Four bits which have worked themselves into my parenting practice, and weren't there before:
(1) Substituting accurate observations for evaluative praise. For example, "You climbed all the way up that very tall ladder!" instead of "You're a great climber!"
(2) Granting a child's wishes in fantasy if they cannot be granted in reality. For example, when Alex was having a tantrum about wanting to go to the (closed) Science Center, I started telling her a story: "Once upon a time, Alex decided to go to the Science Center. The first thing she did was..."
(3) Supporting effort by remarking on the difficulty of the task. In a section which seems blindingly obvious - except that it never occured to me before - Ginott points out that when a child is attempting to do something, if you describe the task as "easy" or say "I know you can do it," you set up a fail-fail situation. If they succeed, you've robbed them of their pride by implying that the feat is no big deal. If they fail, they probably feel shame and frustration, knowing that they couldn't do something you think of as easy. Instead, he recommends showing respect for the task: "It's not so easy to zip a jacket. It can be tricky to get the bottom pieces together."
(4) Not using time-out. I always assumed I would, until I read Ginott and became much less comfortable with the idea of punishment. I like his strategy of focusing on prevention and problem-solving, instead.
Answering 911: Life in the Hot Seat, by Caroline Burau.
Michael brought this home from the library and I read it in a couple of hours. It's an autobiographical account of training to be a 911 dispatcher, complete with a fair number of grisly stories. The technical aspects of the job are apparently much more complicated than I would've imagined. This book was just okay. Nothing I would've gone out of my way to read, but all right while it was in front of me.
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy for Chronic Medical Problems: A Guide to Assessment and Treatment in Practice, by Craig White.
I read bits of this for my grant, because I needed to be able to discuss the impact of irrational cognitions on medical treatment choices. Then I read the rest of it, because it was good. It's always entertaining to read British therapy manuals, because the snippets of sample dialogue are so different from what my clients and I would say. I didn't learn a lot about cognitive-behavioral therapy that I didn't already know, but it was really interesting to read about its different applications in therapy with people who have specific diseases. And he did have a few brilliant examples of how to explain cognitive theory to clients. I enjoyed this one.
Total for May: 4.
Total for the year: 35.
Little Bitty Lies, by Mary Kay Andrews.
A few years ago, I read Andrews' debut novel, Savannah Blues and liked it - it was an interesting chick lit/mystery blend, with good characterization and a well-invoked setting. Little Bitty Lies looked much, much more chick-ish at the library, but I picked it up anyway because I'd liked the previous one. Alas, I should've judged it by its cover. Cardboard characters, unbelievable plot.
Between Parent and Child (Revised Edition), by Haim Ginott.
This is a wonderful book about living with children. I wish I had written down some of the quotes that really struck me while I still had the book. It's hard to sum up in a few words, but Ginott's essential position is that family life needs to honor the emotions of both parents and children. He has a lot of suggestions for how to manage conflicts without demeaning children or controlling them unnecessarily, but (unlike many of the more modern proponents of this kind of child-rearing), he also has no problem with parents saying things like, "I am furious right now!" or laying down the law with firm authority.
Four bits which have worked themselves into my parenting practice, and weren't there before:
(1) Substituting accurate observations for evaluative praise. For example, "You climbed all the way up that very tall ladder!" instead of "You're a great climber!"
(2) Granting a child's wishes in fantasy if they cannot be granted in reality. For example, when Alex was having a tantrum about wanting to go to the (closed) Science Center, I started telling her a story: "Once upon a time, Alex decided to go to the Science Center. The first thing she did was..."
(3) Supporting effort by remarking on the difficulty of the task. In a section which seems blindingly obvious - except that it never occured to me before - Ginott points out that when a child is attempting to do something, if you describe the task as "easy" or say "I know you can do it," you set up a fail-fail situation. If they succeed, you've robbed them of their pride by implying that the feat is no big deal. If they fail, they probably feel shame and frustration, knowing that they couldn't do something you think of as easy. Instead, he recommends showing respect for the task: "It's not so easy to zip a jacket. It can be tricky to get the bottom pieces together."
(4) Not using time-out. I always assumed I would, until I read Ginott and became much less comfortable with the idea of punishment. I like his strategy of focusing on prevention and problem-solving, instead.
Answering 911: Life in the Hot Seat, by Caroline Burau.
Michael brought this home from the library and I read it in a couple of hours. It's an autobiographical account of training to be a 911 dispatcher, complete with a fair number of grisly stories. The technical aspects of the job are apparently much more complicated than I would've imagined. This book was just okay. Nothing I would've gone out of my way to read, but all right while it was in front of me.
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy for Chronic Medical Problems: A Guide to Assessment and Treatment in Practice, by Craig White.
I read bits of this for my grant, because I needed to be able to discuss the impact of irrational cognitions on medical treatment choices. Then I read the rest of it, because it was good. It's always entertaining to read British therapy manuals, because the snippets of sample dialogue are so different from what my clients and I would say. I didn't learn a lot about cognitive-behavioral therapy that I didn't already know, but it was really interesting to read about its different applications in therapy with people who have specific diseases. And he did have a few brilliant examples of how to explain cognitive theory to clients. I enjoyed this one.
Total for May: 4.
Total for the year: 35.
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Date: 2007-06-19 10:07 am (UTC)It's not something I'll use often, but it's a good technique for us to use in difficult cases.