(no subject)

[rivka]

I had to walk down the baby aisle at Rite Aid to get to the pads I need for the bleeding.

I had been doing so well, this morning. Cuddling Alex, making her a special breakfast, pressing my cheek against her hair and reading her stories. I was able to play with her and even laugh. My real live girl. I thought, I'll survive this.

And then there I was in the Rite Aid parking lot, icy rain bucketing down on my bare head, sobbing so hard I couldn't fit my car key in the lock.

I don't think this can possibly be my life.





I'm sorry. This is just going to be an awful journal to read for a while. I honestly won't mind if you don't.

Comments

[papersky.livejournal.com]

If it's awful to read, it must be unimaginable to write.

It shouldn't be your life, it so isn't fair. This just sucks beyond words to express.

carandol used to know someone who used to swear so much the words lost all charge and when things really went wrong he used to kick the furniture. I feel like that, there ought to be a special set of I don't know, slime green-edged words appropriate to express appalling things happening to wonderful people out of a clear sky. It almost makes me wish I was living in a fantasy novel where it would be malice and direct personified evil causing it, because at least that would make sense and not be so grieviously unfair.

*hug*

And you know, it's wonderful that even right now you have the perspective to write "for a while" there.

[naomikritzer]

I agree about the green-edged words. And I completely agree about wanting a reason, even if it's a bad reason like Malicious Sorcerers.