Mother of the year.

[rivka]

Never in her whole life have I ever been this close to spanking my kid.

We went to the playground for a picnic and running around with friends. While I was packing up afterward to go home, Alex started running down the long long path to where we parked.

"Alex, wait for me," I called. She laughed and kept running. She kept laughing and running when I stopped what I was doing, stood up, and bellowed "No, stop now" at the top of my lungs, in my this-is-a-major-issue voice. She kept running when I came after her, still shouting for her to stop. She finally stopped about 100 yards away from where we'd started.

Not. Okay.

All I could think of as I came after her was spanking her. Instead I told her how angry I was, grabbed her firmly by the arm, and marched her back to where our things were. I ordered her to sit on the ground and not move while I packed up the rest of our picnic things and I tried to calm down a little. Then I got down at her level and told her, firmly and angrily, that the biggest safety rule our family has is that she STOP and COME BACK when she is told. She knows this rule. Breaking the rule is dangerous. I told her that I was very, very angry.

I held her firmly by the hand all the way down the long path to the car. She's not used to that. She tried saying that she didn't want me to hold her hand, and I told her that she had to have her hand held because I couldn't trust her to listen to my directions. We usually go at a meandering, flower-picking pace. Not this time.

I told her that we aren't going to go anywhere else today, and she's not going to play outside at all. She asked me if I was going to water the plants without her, and I told her that I was.

I am still so, so angry. And a part of me is still thinking that she'd take the whole thing a lot more seriously if I had hit her.

Other non-spanking parents, I could use a pep talk right now.

Comments

[charlottezweb.livejournal.com]

((hug)) if you would like one and a nice cup of tea. Wow, I know that feeling and I applaud you. Yay, you didn't give in to the very understandable urge to spank her. I think it's a natural reaction to being scared and angry, to lash out--I mean, since you're suffering, shouldn't she? (And I use you in the general sense.) I think parents who spank in that situation rationalize it as teaching a lesson but really (imo) it's about being frustrated and scared. The kid learns to fear the parent not the road.

Royce has a leash because he likes to wander off, and he likes it or we would have some other solution. He doesn't, however, always like the stroller so if he does something like that, he has to go in it. I agree with the speaking to her every time, and even before you go out--she's very smart, but even smart kids have poor impulse control at this age.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

I think it's a natural reaction to being scared and angry, to lash out--I mean, since you're suffering, shouldn't she?

I think you're right on the button here.