Mother of the year.
Jun. 25th, 2008 02:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rivkaNever in her whole life have I ever been this close to spanking my kid.
We went to the playground for a picnic and running around with friends. While I was packing up afterward to go home, Alex started running down the long long path to where we parked.
"Alex, wait for me," I called. She laughed and kept running. She kept laughing and running when I stopped what I was doing, stood up, and bellowed "No, stop now" at the top of my lungs, in my this-is-a-major-issue voice. She kept running when I came after her, still shouting for her to stop. She finally stopped about 100 yards away from where we'd started.
Not. Okay.
All I could think of as I came after her was spanking her. Instead I told her how angry I was, grabbed her firmly by the arm, and marched her back to where our things were. I ordered her to sit on the ground and not move while I packed up the rest of our picnic things and I tried to calm down a little. Then I got down at her level and told her, firmly and angrily, that the biggest safety rule our family has is that she STOP and COME BACK when she is told. She knows this rule. Breaking the rule is dangerous. I told her that I was very, very angry.
I held her firmly by the hand all the way down the long path to the car. She's not used to that. She tried saying that she didn't want me to hold her hand, and I told her that she had to have her hand held because I couldn't trust her to listen to my directions. We usually go at a meandering, flower-picking pace. Not this time.
I told her that we aren't going to go anywhere else today, and she's not going to play outside at all. She asked me if I was going to water the plants without her, and I told her that I was.
I am still so, so angry. And a part of me is still thinking that she'd take the whole thing a lot more seriously if I had hit her.
Other non-spanking parents, I could use a pep talk right now.
We went to the playground for a picnic and running around with friends. While I was packing up afterward to go home, Alex started running down the long long path to where we parked.
"Alex, wait for me," I called. She laughed and kept running. She kept laughing and running when I stopped what I was doing, stood up, and bellowed "No, stop now" at the top of my lungs, in my this-is-a-major-issue voice. She kept running when I came after her, still shouting for her to stop. She finally stopped about 100 yards away from where we'd started.
Not. Okay.
All I could think of as I came after her was spanking her. Instead I told her how angry I was, grabbed her firmly by the arm, and marched her back to where our things were. I ordered her to sit on the ground and not move while I packed up the rest of our picnic things and I tried to calm down a little. Then I got down at her level and told her, firmly and angrily, that the biggest safety rule our family has is that she STOP and COME BACK when she is told. She knows this rule. Breaking the rule is dangerous. I told her that I was very, very angry.
I held her firmly by the hand all the way down the long path to the car. She's not used to that. She tried saying that she didn't want me to hold her hand, and I told her that she had to have her hand held because I couldn't trust her to listen to my directions. We usually go at a meandering, flower-picking pace. Not this time.
I told her that we aren't going to go anywhere else today, and she's not going to play outside at all. She asked me if I was going to water the plants without her, and I told her that I was.
I am still so, so angry. And a part of me is still thinking that she'd take the whole thing a lot more seriously if I had hit her.
Other non-spanking parents, I could use a pep talk right now.
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no subject
Date: 2008-06-27 03:42 am (UTC)Non-spanking parents of 2, 3.5 yr old and 1 yr old.. 3 Year old is REALLY pushing the envelopes at the current time. Not listening, demanding all desires and bursting into tantrums when denied.
For both we've been HEAVILY tempted to hit, shake or otherwise physically deal with both, but have leaned on each other with "Here! Take this kid! I don't trust myself right now!"
Latest episode was when house-hunting of all things.. We had just finished looking at the house we got a contract on just recently, daughter was running around like a wild thing with realtor's 3 year old grand-daughter.. Both having lots of fun. While out back running out some steam, she spots a play structure with slide 3 yards over, and HAS to head for it.. Ignoring my shouts to STOP! Come back here!
I have to run after her and she has enough of a head start on me to get to the playset and slide down the slide once. I've personally found a very calm, even, determined course of action in explaining that what she just did is NOT acceptable and that she could have gotten hurt and/or lost. I then slung her over my shoulder upside-down and physically carried her all the way back and put her in her car seat. All the while she's screaming to be put down, me calmly explaining that I can't do that right now.
I was terrified that something would happen to her, remembered my love for her and dealt with her actions, not acting on my anger. I'm hoping that being slung like a sack of potatoes is the max physicality I have to employ and that it makes an impression.