Warning: whiny grumpiness follows.

[rivka]

Here's the thing.

If I know in advance that I'm going to have a whole Saturday to myself, it's a matter for pleasant anticipation. I usually have a couple of enjoyable solitary prospects in the pipeline, and I like the peace and quiet, and the pleasure of planning dinner around foods curiousangel hates.

But here's how my plans for this Saturday have gone:

Originally, we were supposed to attend the Binghamton Ball this evening. Drive up to my parents' house in Elmira last night or this morning, attend ball practice this afternoon, and English Country Dance the night away. But the local contact person for the ball never answered our phone calls or e-mails asking for final details: directions, how to pay, dance list, et cetera. So we didn't go.

Then I thought I would spend the afternoon with wcg. He has an MDF function this evening, but I thought we could get together and sew (et cetera) beforehand. Nope, although he's coming by tomorrow afternoon to sew instead.

Then I made plans with Ben, which lasted about five minutes before he remembered a pre-existing engagement.

Then I made plans with curiousangel, because gaming was cancelled. We were going to go see the Fellowship of the Ring again. But his gaming buddy called this morning to say that they were going to meet after all.

It was already a week full of tired grumpiness, and I'm finding the repeated cancellation of my Saturday plans ridiculously affecting. I'm currently in the discontented sort of mental state where I browse the net restlessly, not really enjoying any of it, and have a hard time generating options to fill up my time. And getting into self-contradictory mindsets, like simultaneously feeling despondent about how my body looks and craving chicken fingers with ranch dressing for lunch.

I don't like feeling so dependent on other people's plans to be happy. And yet, writing that, I don't think that's quite it. I can easily entertain myself and keep myself happy - the problem lies in doing so after I've already had expectations of things being different. It's not leechiness, it's inflexibility. (Still a personality fault, but I like to be able to be precise about these things.)



[Poll #26594]

Comments

Lah.

[mittelbar.livejournal.com]

Do something that will a) make you feel immediately comforted and b) is going to be successful. I would suggest not hauling out any old uncompleted projects when you're feeling low-energy and defeated.

A brief jaunt out to a bookstore? Followed by reading a book in bed and napping? And then whatever feels best? (nudge nudge)

[wcg.livejournal.com]

Hey love, I think we had a miscommunication somewhere along the way. My perception was that you asked for Sunday afternoon, which I then arranged for. Now I'm pretty well locked in to that, though I might be able to drop by for a little while before the Change of Command begins if that would help.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

I think we did have a miscommunication, yeah, but it's really no big deal. It wasn't a crushing disppointment by itself (I mean, I'll see you tomorrow for the whole afternoon, which is great), it was just frustrating as part of the whole chain of events. Don't worry about it.

[aiglet.livejournal.com]

How about...

Take your library book back, take out a bunch of those trashy books you know you want to read but don't want to be seen with (talking horses fantasy etc.), and then take a really nice long hot bath with lots of bubbles and a good trashy novel?

I've often found that light fiction and bubbles can fix many different kinds of moods. :)

*Pat Pat*

[saoba.livejournal.com]

Poor lil Rivka.

I am so totally there on the mope stuff. I don't mind being on my own and am fairly self-entertaining but I HATE it when I plan/hope/expect to do something with someone and it gets changed without me. *grrf* makes me see bugs, it does.

If you were here you could go to the gym with me and we could sit in the hot tub or take a lovely steam. Then we could go to the Indian place we took Ben when he was here and maybe even go to a bookstore or something.

Barbara

Look north

[therealjae.livejournal.com]

I should really be reading an honours thesis today, and I'll be gone this evening, but I'd love to spend at least a little time with you. I'm just saying.

-J

[tsjafo.livejournal.com]

You holler help and about a third of the planetary population will drop what its doing and come running. Thats about as is should be *grin* Knowing you are that well loved has got to count for something. That said, do something decadent for yourself...pizza and bubblebath or whatever makes you feel good.

[ororo.livejournal.com]

It's Sunday morning, so I skipped the poll.

*hugs* It's laptopwench on AIM, though I was at work all day.

There's a difference between planning time for one's self and being "left to one's self." I work on keeping my expectations down, but when they're mucked around like yours were today, that brings up a lot of frustration.

Mayhap a contingency plan on a regular basis?