(no subject)

[rivka]

It's stewardship season at church. This year they're doing something called "Appreciative Inquiry," which turns out to be a management consulting thing. Visiting stewards are making face-to-face calls on everyone in the congregation, but instead of talking about our upcoming pledges they're asking questions like "Tell me about a time the church was important in your life," and "What makes you fabulous? What are your gifts?"

Our visiting steward came over last night. We talked, at length, about Michael's considerable gifts and all that he can offer the church. Then it was my turn. "What makes you fabulous?"

"Um... I'm pretty good with the kids. I feel like I've done good things with Religious Education." It sounded lame and useless to my ears, and a long way from fabulous.

I feel so colorless and tired these days. Like my kids have sucked most of the energy out of my life and I'm not even doing that great a job with them. Except that I can't really blame it on them, because look at all the things that people like chargirlgenius and telerib accomplish on top of each having two kids and a full-time job. It's not the kids, it's me.

What do I do? What do I contribute? What can I offer? What are my gifts? Why don't any of these questions even make sense to me right now?

Comments

[ckd]

Two questions:

1. What are the obstacles that keep you from having this?

2. How can we help you overcome those obstacles?

[ex-serenejo.livejournal.com]

I second this. I think this is probably doable, with help. I'd like to help.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

It's not a matter of finances or such, that people could help with. Colin doesn't sleep through the night. He nurses several times a day. He's not ready to be left overnight.

Also, Michael's life isn't exactly a bed of ease and roses, either. I wouldn't ask him to take on a whole weekend alone with the kids.

[ailbhe]

We swapped it out - a whole weekend for Rob first, who was not lactating, to prepare him for the ordeal ahead, and about 14 hours for me, and it worked pretty well. Our alternatives at the time didn't bear thinking about, so we kind of had to plan for respite, but it really did help.

[nex0s.livejournal.com]

Maybe I am a crap parent- but Jaeger nurses through the night, and several times a day, and I left him with S for five days and he did great.

Maybe you think I'm a crappy parent for doing that - but it was really good for me, and when I came back, I felt happy and re-set inside myself, and ready to be a cohesive Mom again.

BTW: I'm also diagnosed with PPD and taking prozac, so, yeah. I get it.

*gentle hug*

N.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

No, of course I don't think you're a crappy parent! By all evidence you seem to be awesome.

When I say that Colin is not ready to be left overnight, I really just mean Colin. Not other babies. It wouldn't be something that would work right now for our family. Other families TOTALLY vary.

[ailbhe]

It was ok with Linnea, and not with Emer - babies are all different, which is sometimes great and sometimes just a way of making sure that everyone I've learned is wrong.