(no subject)

[rivka]

Alex cut her hair. Again. I am completely disgusted with her. The last thing I had time for today was an emergency salon appointment.

I don't think today was the first time, either. There was a section near the front that I had noticed a while ago was suspiciously short. She denied cutting it. (This time our nanny caught her.)

She chose a new style which is quite pretty, and I confess that I am secretly delighted that I won't have to try to wrestle her hair into a ballet bun anymore, because I sucked at it. And her hair was difficult to care for because it's so fine. But for God's sake I have frequently offered to take her to the damn salon if she wants her hair cut. It is completely ridiculous of her to chew at it with scissors.



I wish there were a way to keep people from fussing over how cute she looks, because I don't want her to get a lot of positive attention for misbehaving. But of course there isn't a way.

Comments

[gerisullivan.livejournal.com]

I have one of those "clearly not a parent" questions, and it's one that doesn't need, require, or demand an answer: why does Alex's misbehavior result in an emergency salon appointment on a day you clearly don't have time for one? Is it because the misbehavior would draw even more "isn't that cute?/you're so precocious" attention from people seeing the mess her self-cut made of her hair?

[droewyn.livejournal.com]

I agree with this comment.

Maybe if you institute a rule that any haircuts she gives herself will last for at least one week before you take her to get it fixed, she'll quit doing it?

[baratron.livejournal.com]

Yeah - if it'd been up to me, I'd have left her hair a horrible mess, ready for all the Christmas photographs! And then, when she'd got to the dating age, I'd have had those photos on the very top of the pile of embarrassing photos to show to her potential partners. "This was the year when Madam decided she could cut her own hair...".

Probably just as well I'm planning to not have kids, eh?

[journeywoman.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that. I wouldn't have taken her, and she would have had to deal with any embarrassment or fallout from being in the pageant with a homemade haircut.

How did the dress rehearsal go?

[rivka.livejournal.com]

Surprisingly well. Special Snowflake didn't turn up, but the remaining kings were lovely. Most of the kids know their lines. They all look unbelievably adorable in their costumes.

It may all work out!

[hawkida.livejournal.com]

I suspect it's because while Alex is perfectly happy with the job she'd done herself, other people look at her and think "Who the hell did that to her hair? And why haven't her parents fixed it? Slackers, poor kid" and so forth.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

Yes, that's it exactly.

[torontoteacher.livejournal.com]

I totally empathise with this, since my four year old routinely wears his "favourite outfit" which consists of skin tight green and blue leggings with an orange and green striped shirt.

I *know* that nobody is going to look at this child and think "You know, I bet his mom picked out those clothes." and yet, I feel like I should *do* something about it.

*sigh* Why is parenting so hard? And when we all know that, why do we feel the need to judge each other?

[rivka.livejournal.com]

After giving this some thought, I'd say that for a child who is too young to really notice that her hair looks awful, this is no consequence at all. For a child old enough to notice that her hair looks awful, it's a punishment based on humiliation. That's something I won't do.

[journeywoman.livejournal.com]

My take on it is that it's a natural consequence. Humiliation would be if you took a pair of scissors to her hair and tried to make it even worse, or if you told other people in front of her how dreadful it was.

As for other people thinking less of you as a parent, 1) who cares what they think, and 2) I assume that at that age, the child has a lot more control over appearance than, say, an infant would. It seems like it's been pretty standard for a few yrs now for parents of kids in E's cohort to shrug and say, "She dressed herself today."

Anyway. I'm glad the dress rehearsal went well, and I hope Snowflake's mom doesn't cause any drama tonight!

[gerisullivan.livejournal.com]

Thanks, for the insight and also for answering at such a busy time.

Merry Christmas and much love'n'joy to your entire family!