Dear God...

[rivka]

...please don't let me get hit by a bus or something and taken to the ER today. Not when I've got a big wooden penis model stuck in my purse next to my wallet and appointment book and iPod. And a dental dam.

kthxbai,
Rivka

Comments

[jerusha.livejournal.com]

Well, I personally would vote against that happening on any day :)

That being said, I'm with you that today would be particularly bad...

[kalmn.livejournal.com]

i <3 you.

[wanderingaengus.livejournal.com]

It looks like it's wooden, but you know that the first time you leave that in your purse by accident while you're going to the airport you're going to find out that it has a metal core.

[hobbitbabe.livejournal.com]

On the other hand, it might not be a bad day to get stuck in an elevator with some attractive person. You do have condoms and lube, don't you?

[browse.livejournal.com]

Umm, when the kids today talk about someone "sporting wood", that's not really what they mean. Just so you know. :-)

[chargirlgenius.livejournal.com]

That mental image turns me 13 again, and I can't think of anything remotely adult to say. :-D

[namedphoenix.livejournal.com]

baaaahhaa. That's the most hilarious thing, ever.

And no, don't get hit by a bus. And don't do that any day, either.

[edschweppe.livejournal.com]

I would hope Baltimore ER staff would be clueful enough to realize that the only folks wandering around with those wooden penis models are educators. But, yes, not needing to be taken to the ER is a Good Thing.

(Now, if you'd combined the dental dam with a neon-pink strap-on dildo, the hypothetical ER folks might jump to an incorrect assumption about your orientation. Even then, though, they'd give you credit for the dental dam.)

[kcobweb.livejournal.com]

Hee! Been there, done that. :)
(Not hit by a bus though - the other part.)

[filkerdave.livejournal.com]

What, nobody's said anything about having a woody yet?

Wow. LJ is slowing down while I'm in Switzerland.

[bosssio.livejournal.com]

When my brother was 13 (I was 17), he had a sex ed class project where he had to bring in condoms to the class (old "condom on a banana" task). My mom bought one of those "family packs" (you know, pack of 50 or something insane) for him.

Unbeknownst to me, after the class, he left the 43 remaining condoms in the truck of my car, which of course were tossed all over.

The next day, I had to open my trunk in front of a guy who had a super crush on me (I was not interested). Along with about 5 or 6 condoms, the following fell onto the ground in front of this guy:

* pair of underpants and bra (we had been to the beach the previous weekend and I had brought a change of clothes I never used)

* a pair of handcuffs (belonged to a friend who wore them as a part of a belt for an abortive Rocky Horror trip)

My reputation CHANGED that day at school.

[mjlayman.livejournal.com]

I laughed so hard I woke the cats up! Better not to get hit by the bus, though....