...please don't let me get hit by a bus or something and taken to the ER today. Not when I've got a big wooden penis model stuck in my purse next to my wallet and appointment book and iPod. And a dental dam.
It looks like it's wooden, but you know that the first time you leave that in your purse by accident while you're going to the airport you're going to find out that it has a metal core.
No, the airport event will be on the day she carries a vaginal speculum in her purse. (Assuming you've not switched to plastic yet, [Unknown site tag]? Some of us are still old skool with the metal specs.)
It does put a little sparkle in the tedious process of going through the high-school security gates, though.
The important question is, what color is the dental dam? Does it match your underwear? My mother always drilled home the "wear clean undies or the ER staff will be appalled," so I can only assume that the dental dam thing is an extension of that. (wink)
Not in my purse. I have some male and female condoms at home, in a shoebox-sized storage container with birth control pills, a birth control patch, a birth control ring, a diaphragm, spermicidal jelly, a Today sponge (I didn't even know you could still get those), and Plan B.
Do you think that Hypothetical Attractive Person might think that was overkill?
That depends. Are you trying to attract a Hypothetical Extremely Cautious Person? It seems like hypothetically appropriate bait. (Or, for hypothetical attraction of extremely cautious people without mixed company, there are other ways to display belt and suspenders.)
I would hope Baltimore ER staff would be clueful enough to realize that the only folks wandering around with those wooden penis models are educators. But, yes, not needing to be taken to the ER is a Good Thing.
(Now, if you'd combined the dental dam with a neon-pink strap-on dildo, the hypothetical ER folks might jump to an incorrect assumption about your orientation. Even then, though, they'd give you credit for the dental dam.)
When my brother was 13 (I was 17), he had a sex ed class project where he had to bring in condoms to the class (old "condom on a banana" task). My mom bought one of those "family packs" (you know, pack of 50 or something insane) for him.
Unbeknownst to me, after the class, he left the 43 remaining condoms in the truck of my car, which of course were tossed all over.
The next day, I had to open my trunk in front of a guy who had a super crush on me (I was not interested). Along with about 5 or 6 condoms, the following fell onto the ground in front of this guy:
* pair of underpants and bra (we had been to the beach the previous weekend and I had brought a change of clothes I never used)
* a pair of handcuffs (belonged to a friend who wore them as a part of a belt for an abortive Rocky Horror trip)
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
That being said, I'm with you that today would be particularly bad...
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
It does put a little sparkle in the tedious process of going through the high-school security gates, though.
The important question is, what color is the dental dam? Does it match your underwear? My mother always drilled home the "wear clean undies or the ER staff will be appalled," so I can only assume that the dental dam thing is an extension of that. (wink)
no subject
no subject
Do you think that Hypothetical Attractive Person might think that was overkill?
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
MKK
no subject
no subject
And no, don't get hit by a bus. And don't do that any day, either.
PS
no subject
(Now, if you'd combined the dental dam with a neon-pink strap-on dildo, the hypothetical ER folks might jump to an incorrect assumption about your orientation. Even then, though, they'd give you credit for the dental dam.)
no subject
(Not hit by a bus though - the other part.)
no subject
no subject
Wow. LJ is slowing down while I'm in Switzerland.
no subject
Unbeknownst to me, after the class, he left the 43 remaining condoms in the truck of my car, which of course were tossed all over.
The next day, I had to open my trunk in front of a guy who had a super crush on me (I was not interested). Along with about 5 or 6 condoms, the following fell onto the ground in front of this guy:
* pair of underpants and bra (we had been to the beach the previous weekend and I had brought a change of clothes I never used)
* a pair of handcuffs (belonged to a friend who wore them as a part of a belt for an abortive Rocky Horror trip)
My reputation CHANGED that day at school.
no subject
no subject
no subject